communication – Nannyjob blog

Building Bridges: Effective Communication Between Parents and Nannies

In the world of childcare, the relationship between parents and nannies is pivotal. At its core, this relationship thrives on trust, respect, and, most importantly, effective communication. Whether it’s discussing daily routines, addressing concerns, or sharing milestones, clear communication fosters a positive environment for everyone involved, especially the children. Here are strategies to ensure open and effective communication between parents and nannies.

Establish Regular Check-Ins

Creating a regular schedule for check-ins can prevent misunderstandings and ensure both parties are on the same page. This could be a brief daily conversation, a weekly sit-down, or a structured monthly meeting. Use this time to discuss the child’s progress, upcoming events, and any adjustments needed in the care routine.

Use a Communication Log

A physical or digital logbook can be an invaluable tool for tracking daily activities, meals, nap times, behavioral updates, and any other noteworthy items. This log ensures that no detail is missed and provides a comprehensive view of the child’s day-to-day life.

Set Clear Expectations from the Start

At the beginning of the employment relationship, clearly outline job responsibilities, house rules, parenting philosophies, and emergency procedures. Having a written agreement or contract can serve as a reference point for both parties.

Foster an Open-Door Policy

Encourage open dialogue where both parents and nannies feel comfortable voicing joys, concerns, and suggestions. Knowing that communication is a two-way street can significantly enhance the relationship’s quality.

Practice Active Listening

Active listening involves fully concentrating on what is being said rather than just passively ‘hearing’ the message. This technique helps in understanding the perspective of the other person and responding appropriately, thereby reducing the chances of miscommunication.

Address Issues Promptly and Respectfully

If concerns or issues arise, address them directly and respectfully as soon as possible. Avoid letting frustrations build up, which can lead to resentment or misunderstandings.

Celebrate Successes Together

Make it a point to share and celebrate the child’s milestones and achievements together. Recognising the nanny’s contributions to these successes can strengthen the bond between the nanny and the family.

Utilise Technology Wisely

In today’s digital age, various apps and platforms can aid communication. Whether it’s sharing photos, updates, or scheduling appointments, find a tool that works best for both parties. However, ensure that digital communication doesn’t replace face-to-face interactions.

Effective communication is the cornerstone of a successful relationship between parents and nannies. By implementing these strategies, both parties can work together harmoniously to provide the best care for the children, creating a nurturing, stable, and happy environment for them to grow and thrive.

Mastering the Art of Communication: How to Effectively Talk to Children of All Ages

Effective communication is the cornerstone of a positive and nurturing relationship between nannies, parents and children. With the right tools and understanding, you can forge stronger connections, foster better understanding, and enhance mutual respect.

As children grow, their understanding and communication methods change dramatically. Here’s a practical guide to help you navigate this journey:

Babies (0-1 Year):
Infants rely on non-verbal communication. Pay attention to their cues – a cry, giggle, or wriggling can speak volumes about their needs. Responding with a comforting touch, eye contact, and soothing words can help them feel secure and loved.

Toddlers (1-3 Years):
Toddlers are starting to explore words. Keep your language simple and clear. Encourage conversation by asking open-ended questions. Repeat and expand on their words to help them build vocabulary.

Preschoolers (3-5 Years):
Preschoolers love to ask questions. Show interest in their inquiries and answer them as simply as possible. Use metaphors and stories to explain complex concepts.

School-age (6-12 Years):
School-age children can understand more complex conversations. Encourage them to express their thoughts and feelings. Teach empathy and respect by demonstrating these values in your communication.

Teens (13+ Years):
Teens value their independence. It’s crucial to respect their opinions and provide guidance rather than orders. Be open, honest, and approachable so they feel comfortable discussing their concerns with you.

Remember, communication is a two-way street. It’s just as important to be a good listener as it is to be a good speaker. Happy talking!

Tips and Advice for First Time Live-In Nannies

The prospect of starting a new job is sometimes nerve-wracking. For those of you about to start your first job as a live-in nanny, it can be downright terrifying, as you must learn to work and live with the family hiring you.

That’s why we’ve put together our top tips to help you feel more comfortable and at ease when moving in with a new family:

Continue reading “Tips and Advice for First Time Live-In Nannies”

Creative ways to say ‘no’ to your young child

Do you feel as though you’re constantly saying ‘no’ to your child’s demands and requests? Chances are, if your child is ignoring you when you say ‘no’, you might be saying it too often.

This can be a huge problem as you try to teach your child right from wrong, as well as trying to keep them safe.

That’s why we’ve put together some creative alternatives to saying ‘no’ to help regain your child’s attention whilst avoiding using the same word over and over.

Continue reading “Creative ways to say ‘no’ to your young child”

Travelling Tips for Nannies

With holidays soon to be allowed and the summer, not far behind, many nannies might be preparing for a trip with their nanny family.

Whilst a sunny break away from everyday life might sound like a fantastic escape, it’s important to remember that you’ll still be working and that your job might become a bit more difficult when faced with new challenges and unfamiliar surroundings.

We’ve put together our top tips to help you make a success of any trip with your nanny family:

Continue reading “Travelling Tips for Nannies”

Nanny envy

“I’m worried she likes her nanny better than me…”

“They behave so perfectly for their nanny and are monsters when I’m around!”

“My nanny sees my friends more often than I do.”

If you’ve ever felt this then you’re not alone. You’re suffering from nanny envy and it’s actually surprisingly normal, even natural, to feel this way. Nor is it confined to having a nanny – you may well feel the same way about your child’s attachment to a childminder or nursery nurse. So why does no-one ever talk about it?

Part of the problem is admitting that you’re envious of your nanny means admitting that you’d rather be at home with your children, and that might be seen as regretting your decision to work. It isn’t a binary situation, though, and the decision to work depends on many factors ranging from financial necessity to keeping your sanity intact. Your feelings may also change from one day to the next and higher levels of nanny envy just after your return to work or just after the weekend are normal too. How you feel towards the relationship your nanny has with your child probably also varies according to how you feel about your job. When you have a bad day or you don’t go into work staying at home seems the more attractive option and jealousy towards to person who gets to do that can creep in.

A bit of jealousy definitely isn’t a reason to reconsider your childcare choice. There are huge benefits to having a nanny, and one of those is in fact the strong bond that your child will form with her carer. If your child wants her nanny when nanny isn’t around try to see it as a positive sign of attachment. Your nanny will probably tell you that your child periodically requests you when you’re at work too. Children are well known for wanting what they don’t have after all.

It’s also well known among nannies and experienced employers that children will behave very differently for different people so if your little princeling eat his greens and naps in his cot for his nanny but refuses to eat anything except pasta and requires cuddles lying across you when you’re around you aren’t doing anything wrong. Part of it is down to experience on the nanny’s part and part of it is your child feeling safe and secure enough to test the boundaries and express his affection, in some cases by literally smothering you.

So how canyou combat these feelings?

Try to disentangle your feelings towards your work life and your feelings about your nanny. If you resent going to work rather than leaving your children, which are very different things, maybe it’s time to reassess your job.

If you feel your nanny is handling your child’s behaviour better than you ask them for some hints and tips. Most nannies are very happy to work with parents to create new strategies for dealing with behaviour as it makes their job easier too in the long run.

Make an effort to see your friends or parents from school socially on a regular basis so you don’t feel like your nanny has replaced you. Also encourage your nanny to create their own social circle if they don’t already have one. It can be nice for your child to keep in touch with other children from your NCT group or equivalent but there’s no reason that it has to be your nanny who goes to the meet-ups. If the other parents typically meet during the week suggest that you organise something at the weekend, and nothing is stopping you from going out for a meal or a drink without the children in the evening.

Be open with your nanny about it. They may be inadvertantly making the situation worse so tell them how you feel to avoid them treading on your toes. A good nanny will be sensitive to your feelings and mindful of the fact that you are the parent and nothing can replace that.

How to recognise when your nanny’s had a bad day

I’m sure we’re all familiar with those days that just don’t quite go to plan. You know the ones. Maybe the weather’s bad, one of the children is unwell or the television stops working. Any one of these can turn an okay day, into a really bad day where nothing gets done and you just want to collapse at the end of it.

How would you feel then if your partner or significant other came home to what they deemed a messy house and asked you what you’ve been doing all day whilst they’ve been at work?

Continue reading “How to recognise when your nanny’s had a bad day”

Flexibility: the F word

Flexibility is a buzzword when it comes to childcare. Many parents need someone willing to be a bit flexible with hours to cover unexpected delays and duties to pick up the slack when needed. Most child carers are keen to emphasise their flexibility to maximise their chances of getting a job. But are you using the F-word too much?

Just as our ideas of physical flexibility differ, the types of flexibility different types of childcares often do too. A flexible nursery is a bit like being able to touch your toes with your hands, which is better than only reaching your knees if that’s all another nursery can do for you, but a flexible nanny is more like being able to touch your toes to the back of your head. Even if you don’t touch your toes on a regular basis, it can be reassuring to know that flexibility is there if you need it, just like it can be reassuring to know you have a bit of leeway to cover those unexpected delays.

When choosing childcare options parents should assess how much flexibility they really need – remember needing unusual hours isn’t the same as needing flexible childcare, although you might need someone who is flexible with the hours they’ll agree to work. Different types of childcare are by nature more flexible than others – a nursery has fixed opening and closing times for good reasons, but a childminder has a little more leeway to decide what those are and whether they are willing to make exceptions on an occasional or more regular basis. One flexible childminder might not mind early drop offs or late pickups for core contracted hours, another may mean they will offer an extended hours service but expect this to be agreed in advance. A nanny, especially a live-in nanny, can give even more flexibility, including late notice and overnight care, but this shouldn’t be taken for granted and should always be compensated accordingly.

Child carers promising flexibility in hours provided therefore need to be careful about what they mean. You might be happy to work up to 10 hours a day and although you don’t mind whether those 10 hours are 5am to 3pm or 11am to 9pm you still expect to clock off when those 10 hours are done. Or maybe you’re happy to occasionally start an hour earlier or finish an hour later but are generally available between 8am and 6pm. Perhaps you’re one of the few happy to commit to a set number of hours over the month whenever the parents need you. All of those are being flexible but option 1 is what a shift worker might mean by flexible childcare, option 2 is what someone with a complicated commute prone to delays might mean.

Flexible working is also a two-way street. The quickest way to turn a relationship sour is to demand full flexibility from a childcare provider and never give any back. Giving a little can build up a store of goodwill for the times you need extra help. As one nanny said ‘I absolutely don’t mind doing later days when I am let off early sometimes.

It’s not just working hours that require flexibility – nannies are often asked to be flexible when it comes to jobs around the home. Most nannies will empty a full kitchen bin or put a coffee cup in the dishwasher, and if it’s been a nightmare morning and the breakfast things are left on the side occasionally then that’s okay too. In general, though, nannies don’t expect to act as housekeepers unless it’s part of the job description, so if a nanny says at interview, they’re flexible on duties it’s well worth finding out what that really means.

Just a little flexibility in return goes a long way, allowing a nanny to run some personal errands during the working day occasionally or accepting that a childminder might need to close earlier on occasion can make a relationship a whole lot smoother.

At the end of the day being truly flexible means accepting that sometimes things are going to be a little different.

When nanny gets married

One of our lovely nannies recently got married and she has kindly passed on some hints and tips to any nannies or employers in a similar situation.

Right from the start my employers were thrilled for me and very supportive. They bought me a lovely congratulations card and invited my fiancé over one evening for champagne. In case that sounds strange they’ve known him as long as I’ve been working for them and they’re happy for him to come over in the evening if I’m babysitting because he’s my lift home. My nanny family really do feel like another part of my family so them being happy for me was a big deal.

I waited to check with them before setting the date. We wanted to get married in June 2022 which was 15 months away at the time of our engagement and we wanted to go on a 2-week honeymoon. I also wanted a couple of days before the wedding which meant 2 and a half weeks off in term time – not the most convenient thing for my bosses. I offered to take it as unpaid holiday so they could afford a temp nanny, and so I could keep my holiday allowance for the year, but they said it would be my main wedding present to have it as paid leave and they would manage. I know this was a massive deal for them and it made a big difference. I think if they’d been difficult about the date, it would have made me feel like getting married was an inconvenience.

They stayed interested, particularly the girls I look after, the whole time and although I know I was probably a very enthusiastic bride they never once made me feel like I was boring them. In fact, they were understanding to the point of my dad boss listening to me weep about table plans one Monday in the run up. Obviously, I didn’t let wedding planning take over my life, and it stayed out of work hours most of the time, but employers who show an interest in the biggest thing that’s going on in your life are appreciated.

Next, I had the dilemma of whether I invited them to the wedding or not, even more complicated because the children were desperate to be attendants. I didn’t want my charges as bridesmaids, but I did want them to share part of my special day, so I invited them to the church service and the evening on the condition that they had a big nap in the afternoon. That way they missed all the embarrassing bits about me in the speeches! I also bought them special matching outfits that fitted with my colour scheme but weren’t the same as my adult bridesmaids and gave them special jobs to do like distributing the confetti after the service. I could focus on the ceremony without being a nanny to my charges (because we never really stop) and they felt part of it – win-win!

I also had a special picture of us taken on the day, and it will definitely be going in the album.

After so much excitement and a wonderful honeymoon I felt a bit deflated coming back to work, but they made a special banner to say, ‘welcome back Mrs xxxxx’ and that made me smile all day.

How to Combat the Post-School Meltdown

How many times have you picked your little one up from school, watched them wave goodbye to their teachers and friends with happy, smiling faces, only to turn to you with furrowed brows, crossed arms and a sullen temper?

If this is you, you’re not alone.

Continue reading “How to Combat the Post-School Meltdown”