Tag: nanny

The nanny diary: Day 2

 

If you want to catch up on the happenings of Day 1 of our real life nanny diary which follows a nanny and a mother in the first week of a job just click here

 

 

Nanny:

My legs were killing me this morning and we had even more walking today because there’s a baby class in the centre of town. The upside is I got promised Starbucks and told to make it a weekly thing because there isn’t time to go home in between the school run and class and nowhere to hang out in the middle. Yay!

We went to music class together and then MB left to meet a friend for lunch so I had to walk to nursery, only just making it in time for pick up, and number 3 came along quite happily which was a really good sign. I was a bit worried she would kick off that it was me picking her up but it was fine and she was super well behaved on the way home. I guess because MB doesn’t drive they’re all used to walking and have good road safety sense, or at least as good as a 2 year old can have. She walked part of the time and asked to go on the buggy board when she was tired which I found a bit difficult to push. I might ask MB about getting a cheap double buggy because I think my arms are too short!

I think one job for Monday afternoon is going to be preparing something for Tuesday lunch because time is really tight and we were a bit late today which pushed nap time back and the school run was a rush yesterday. Thankfully they didn’t sleep as long today and when I asked MB she said they often had a long nap Monday afternoon which I’m glad I found out now! I managed a load of laundry and transferred it to the dryer, and prepped dinner and even had a sit down to rest my aching legs before this evening’s charging around. Tuesday is normally going to be an early finish because as long as MB is back I can take the boys to Beavers and go home but today MB just wants me to check back in.

We had a good chat about playdates on the way home. When I asked about them at interview she said she was really happy that it will be possible and she wants me to feel free to arrange things for the children or have people over and then she refused to let the eldest go between school and Beavers tonight but I’m glad we had time together for her to explain where she’s coming from, and it makes sense. Plus it makes my life easier if I can just leave when MB comes home without having to do an activity run!

I really need a hot bath but we don’t have a bathtub so a long, hot shower in going to have to do and an early night. I think I’ll be able to cancel my gym membership at this rate.

Mother:

Today was, I think, a pretty good test day. I hung back a bit in the morning and even managed to put make up on before the school run. We had a quick chat about yesterday when getting coffee in between school and rhyme time and there didn’t seem anything majorly wrong. I managed grown up lunch out with a friend and met up at the school gate just in time to explain the rules on impromptu playdates. We had an activity this evening so it’s fine if it’s planned in advance and they have everything they need in the morning and they can go with a friend but otherwise only on free evenings. I’ve spent 6 months enforcing this rule after we went a bit playdate silly and I really don’t want it broken now.

The first benefit of having a nanny has become clear! Dinner is all prepared and just needs to be reheated and the shepherd’s pie was huge enough for all the family. I asked if it was okay if we ate some too and she seemed a bit embarrassed but said we could. I don’t know what she was embarrassed about because it was great.

The nanny diary: Day 1

This week we’re doing something a little different. A real life series of 5 posts detailing the first 5 days from a nanny and a mother’s perspective!

 

 

Nanny:

My alarm went of at 6.15am this morning and I practically sprinted out of bed into the shower. I needed to be at my new job for 7.30 and I really didn’t want to be late. It turns out that there is very little traffic so I ended up being 20 minutes early and parked my car around the corner and waited. I rang the doorbell 5 minutes early, which felt a little odd knowing that in a couple of hours I’d have keys and probably wouldn’t be ringing the bell every morning!

Everyone was having breakfast when I walked in and MB offered me some toast, but I ate breakfast before I left. It’s good to know I can have breakfast at work. 5 minutes more sleep! Then it was all systems go brushing teeth, putting on coats and shoes and getting out the door to go to school. There are 4 children, 2 at school, 1 doing half days at nursery and 1 at home full time, so there’s a lot to get ready and we’re going to be walking everywhere. Thankfully I have 2 days with MB at home to get all the local routes and shortcuts in my head. MB explains the rules and I’m glad we seem on the same page.

After an hour out and about we’re at home and baby is napping in the pram so we have a cuppa and run through a typical week, MB shows me how all the appliances work and shares her routine for getting the housework that I’ll be taking on done although she says I don’t have to stick to it, and once baby woke up she made a start preparing lunch while I fed baby and played a little game of peekaboo. Soon it was time to head out to nursery and fetch charge number 3. We all ate lunch together and I managed to get spaghetti sauce down my top. Ooops.

This afternoon was my first time alone with the younger two, which they spend napping, and I decided to make a treasure basket as they don’t seem to have one. They woke up just before needed to go to the school run so it was a bit of a rush to prepare a bottle and get ready and leave. I’m not used to leaving this much time for walking so I’m going to have to make a note to watch that especially this week.

After-school was a blur of taking number 1 to a violin lesson, taking number 2 to karate (is there anything cuter than a bunch of 5 year olds doing karate?), picking up number 1, picking up number 2, eating tea, doing homework/reading and getting everyone ready for bed. I feel exhausted and I have no idea how MB has been doing this on her own. Most nights she says she’ll be home by 5 so we’ll sort out the last hour and a half between us but if she has a late meeting I can see myself running in circles.

 

Mother:

Last night I was writing down everything I need to talk about and I didn’t realise how much I do until I was trying to consciously explain while doing it. I’m sure there are things I’ve forgotten to talk about today. I’ve also realised I’m not looking forward to the end of maternity leave and I’m feeling a bit funny about having a nanny because we’ve always used nursery or a childminder but fingers crossed it will make life that much easier.

First day seems to have gone okay. I’m desperately trying not to step in and let her find her own way of doing things. I’m also trying to feel my way through the etiquette of having a nanny. Should she be eating breakfast with the children in the morning? Will she eat dinner with them in the evening? Do I need to justify every parenting move I’ve made or is it all common sense?

I’m reassured that she took the pace of the day in her stride – it’s all go to get to nursery at 8.30, school at 8.45, nursery at 11.30, lunch and naps, school at 3.30 and anything after-school so having someone who can keep to time and get where they need is so important. Tomorrow is the day for letting go!

How to keep your nanny – 10 ways

A while ago we posted a tongue in cheek post ‘How to lose your nanny in 10 days‘. Hopefully you’ve avoided making most of these mistakes and have a happy, settled relationship with your nanny. As the festive season looms (to be followed by that horrid January slump) we thought now might be a good time to look at ways you can keep your nanny happy.

  • Remember that one-off gestures are all well and good but the best way to keep your relationship (be it with your nanny or anyone else in fact) is constantly paying attention to the little things. Respecting your nanny will go a long way to ensuring their happiness and if you don’t have time to click on the link RESPECT stands for Rights, Earnings, Space, Professionalism, Expenses, Choices and Time. It’s worth just repeating that last one – your nanny’s finish time is the time they should be walking out the door, not the time you walk in. If you find yourself being persistently late then consider extending your nanny’s hours and paying for that time.
  • Make allowances, because your nanny is a person too, for the occasional late start (whether it’s a public transport mishap or a sleepy alarm clock) or off day. Allowing them to go early on occasion will make them a lot more tolerant of your occasional lateness (be it public transport or a meeting that overruns).  An unscheduled early finish rates pretty highly among the various perks nannies get, by the way! In the same vein appreciate the restrictions your nanny has on their time and let them run personal errands during work hours occasionally.
  • Get them a takeaway when they babysit, and if you have a netflix account or similar encourage them to use it. Or if they prefer to cook for themselves leave a bit of extra cash so they can pick up some special ingredients and have a nice meal.
  • Don’t skimp on sick pay if you can afford it. The odd bug happens to everyone and it’s doubly unfair for a nanny to have an unpaid sick day because they’re throwing up as a result of your little darlings’ generosity with their germs.
  • Let them use the stuff in your house. If you have a Kenwood Chef or a KitchenAid stand mixer and an enthusiastic baker for a nanny who’s planning to make her best friend’s birthday cake with a hand held beater from Tesco then let her use your kitchen one day. If their washing machine breaks down then instead of letting them trek to the launderette put your washing machine temporarily at their disposal. It might bump up your bills a bit but it’ll bump up goodwill even more.
  • Invite your nanny as a guest to significant events for the children like birthdays and christenings, unless you want them to work in which case pay them overtime. Chances are they won’t come but most nannies will appreciate that you think of them as part of the family.
  • Remember them on their birthday and at Christmas (or equivalent major religious festival that you or they celebrate). You don’t need to give an extravagant gift or a month’s salary as a bonus to show your appreciate them and all the work they do. Something small and personal with a voucher for their favourite store will probably go down well. Photographs of your children in expensive frames, while lovely to look at, aren’t a winner unless it’s a leaving gift.
  • Review their performance and their pay once a year. If you can’t afford a pay rise then try and show them you appreciate their work in another way, or give them some extra holiday as a reward for staying with the family. The very least you can do is point out what a great job they’ve done through the year and all the times you’ve noticed and appreciated them going the extra mile. 
  • Recommend them if they want extra babysitting and you know someone who wants a sitter. If your nanny doesn’t want to babysit then point your friend in the direction of our free babysitting section!
  • Finally…. Say thank you. Every day. Without fail.

Parent v Nanny

Today we’ve got a special guest blog from Tanya, talking about her transition from being a nanny to motherhood.

 

I qualified as a nursery nurse over 15 years ago. Since then I have worked with children of all ages from 3 months up to 12 years both in educational settings and as a Nanny.

In October 2009 I found out I was expecting our first child. At that time I had been with my current family for 4 years, caring for 2 children.

I felt pretty well equipped for once baby came home etc. but was fairly nervous about the actual delivery! Fear of the unknown I suppose.

I was lucky enough to be given ante-natal classes as a gift from my employers. My husband and I were keen to meet people at the same stage as we were and learn a bit more about the imminent delivery! The people we met at class gave us a great support network for once baby arrived. The classes also provided good information about the weeks ahead and of course the all important delivery!

Lily arrived a week early. An easy pregnancy ended with a slightly less easy delivery. Once she did arrive emotions were definitely altered forever.

The obvious main difference in being a parent is ultimately your decision is final, which sometimes feels very daunting.

In my role as a nanny I work with parents and discuss ideas to improve or manage various situations or scenarios. I’m not the type of nanny who expects the parents to do everything my way but work more as a team to get better results.

As a parent you are more aware of making decisions and how this will affect your lives. I think having a newborn and the tiredness and emotions that go along with this made it much harder to work through phases.

As a nanny I also had fairly fixed ideas of how I was going to ‘manage’ my new baby. Due to various reasons this didn’t happen and I did feel under extra pressure to do the ‘right’ thing. Ultimately the ‘right’ thing is that you feel comfortable in your daily decisions and that you and baby are happy and settled.

Outside pressure also affected me a lot. I was lucky to have lots of friends who work in childcare or who have their own children (or both!). Obviously everyone likes to help and support a friend and advice was always welcome. However they all had their own words of wisdom. At the time I felt I should take every point if view on board rather than do what was best for us as a family.

Having a ‘difficult’ baby isn’t easy and even my years of training didn’t prepare me for the constant demands of being a mummy. Of course I would never change being a mummy but there is definitely something to be said for clocking on and off as a nanny!

As Lily has got older she has become a very lively, funny and inquisitive girl. She likes to push boundaries and has a very strong sense of being her own person. Of course as a nanny working through the terrible twos and potty training is just part of the job. As a parent it’s non stop – no finishing at 6pm, having to be on top of a situation 100% of the time and multitasking household chores. You forget as a nanny you are there just for the children and that’s what you are paid to do so anything extra gets put to one side.

As a working mum, I still nanny part time with Lily coming along too. Time can seem limited but we try to do things together everyday and Lily gets to do a variety of activities. Consistency is key and we try hard to keep the rules the same regardless of if we are at home, at work, or just out and about. She’s not perfect but she’s 3 and spirited.

For me being a mum is a much harder job than being a nanny but I’m sure this isn’t the case for everyone!

 

Nanny contracts

If you’ve recently employed a nanny you should have signed a contract with them before handing over your children and the house keys, but you do have 2 months from the date your nanny starts work to provide your nanny with a written statement of employment so if you haven’t already then it’s not too late. You can find out more about the why and how of nanny contracts here and Nannyjob also provides 2 model contracts for you to download and use if you wish, and we’ve put together some additional pointers.

Agree a gross wage

As an employer you are responsible for deducting tax and National Insurance, leaving your nanny with their net pay. It’s important to put a gross wage in the contract so your nanny’s personal tax arrangements don’t result in overly-complex calculations each payment period.

 

Be precise about holiday

Each employee is entitled to 5.6 weeks holiday per year, which is 28 days for a full time worker and pro rata-ed down for a part-time worker. This includes any Bank Holidays, which means a full time worker will get 4 weeks plus 8 Bank Holidays. For part time workers the picture is more complex. A nanny who works Monday and Tuesday is entitled to 11.2 days (you can round up but not down) and will have 4 Bank Holidays on working days in 2014, leaving 7.2 days rather than 8 (which would be 4 working weeks) to choose. A nanny working Tuesday and Wednesday has only 1 Bank Holiday on working days in 2014, leaving 10.2 days of holiday. Allocating 4 working weeks or 8 days, would give less that the statutory minimum.

If your nanny works variable hours you might be better using an accrual method so both of you are clear in the contract how holiday will be worked out fairly.

 

Agree a list of duties

A written contract is the best reference for what duties have been agreed in case of any disputes further down the line. It’s also a useful tool for assessing and appraising performance, and if problems arise it gives clear indications of what can be considered poor performance for disciplinary purposes.

 

Define gross misconduct

In rare situations you may want to dismiss your nanny instantly without notice but there needs to be a provision in the contract for this. Common grounds for summary dismissal as a result of gross misconduct are child abuse, theft, using alcohol or illegal drugs whilst on duty and being found guilty of a serious criminal offence. Remember that if you dismiss your nanny for harming a child you have a responsibility to report that to the DBS.

Preparing for a new nanny job

 

What information do I need to have?

While it’s good practice for nannies to have certain information in writing there are no obligations, unless your nanny insurance states otherwise. Common requirements there are a signed contract, which proves you are permitted to be in charge of the child, and permission to administer over the counter or prescription medication. Other information should be in their red book, which should at least be stored somewhere you can access it, but do keep a record in your purse of their full names, dates of birth and important medical information just in case something happens when out and about.

Continue reading “Preparing for a new nanny job”

Childcare to go!

Whether it’s action-packed adventure or chilling in the sun, more and more families are taking childcare with them on holiday. Travelling is increasingly part of a permanent nanny’s job or a temporary nanny can provide flexible, consistent, tailor-made childcare for families who just want a helping hand on holiday.*

 

3 things to talk about

– Money : For permanent nannies working normal hours means normal pay. Employers are responsible for paying all out-of-pocket expenses including flights, accommodation, food and travel insurance. If accommodation is limited then remember that nannies who have to share a room with the children usually expect to be paid a bit extra to compensate for the inconvenience, especially if a child still wakes in the night.
– Time off: Any time a nanny is expected to be present counts as work. Great bosses make it clear when nanny is welcome to relax by themselves or go out, and try to keep the children from barging in, just as a nanny would if asked to occupy the children while their bosses relax. Most nannies are happy to swap a morning for an evening babysitting or travel on a Sunday for a chance to shop or sightsee midweek but respect the hours agreed in the contract, even if they aren’t the usual 8am-6pm.
– Travelling time: In general travelling days, where the nanny travels with the family, are paid and as travelling can be lengthy (especially if it involves a 4am start) some overtime might be expected too. If employers happy to book a seat in a separate section of the plane then their nanny could have that time off during the day but chances their assistance will be wanted and they’re still prevented from spending the time as they choose.

 

2 Notes for nannies

– Check your nanny insurance. Most will cover you for travel with your permanent family for a certain number of days per year within the EU but there may be exclusions and this doesn’t replace travel or medical insurance for you!
– Don’t expect it to be a holiday for: it might be sunny, there might be a pool but you are still on duty!

 

1 top tip

– We hope travelling with your nanny or employers will be enjoyable, but if it doesn’t work out then don’t let it ruin a good relationship!

DBS update service

 

From 17 June 2013 keeping your Disclosure and Barring Service certificate (previous CRB check) up to date will be much simpler and more cost effective, thanks to the launch of the new Update Service.

What is the DBS?

DBS, or Disclosure and Barring Service, is the new name for the combined Criminal Records Bureau and the Independent Safeguarding Authority. This is the organisation (in the UK) which provides criminal disclosure certificates. A DBS certificate is required for any position where you will come into contact with children or vulnerable adults, such as working as a nanny.

 

How does the current system work?

Under the current system, the applicant is given a DBS certificate, which will list any offences the applicant has been charged with (or state that there are none). The certificate can only be guaranteed as of the date it is produced, which means that they are immediately out of date and a new one is required for any new post. This can be particularly problematic for temporary nannies and maternity nurses.

As anyone who has filled out the application form will know, it is a time consuming process and can be expensive, if the cost is not being met by your employer. For those in, or applying for, a voluntary role the application is usually free.

 

What is the Update Service?

The new Update Service is designed to reduce the bureaucracy and expense of the DBS system by allowing certificate holders to monitor their certificates online, allowing for future employers to view the necessary information, without the need for a new certificate (provided you already have a certificate of the required disclosure level).

The Update Service will cost £13 a year (or be provided free if your certificate is for a voluntary role), and you can link multiple certificates to one account. When applying for a new job, you can provide the employer with the details of your certificate and they can check the status of your certificate online. If your certificate is still up to date and accurate then you need take no further action. If something has changed you will have to apply for a new certificate.

 

How does it apply to me?

For nannies – you will require an enhanced disclosure certificate. This searches your history for any offences relating to children, as well things like theft convictions or anti social behaviour orders (ASBOs). You will need a DBS certificate whether your are working in a paid or voluntary capacity. With the update service (any check carried out after 17th June 2013) you will not have to apply for a new DBS certificate for every job. Instead you can choose to pay £13 a year and provide your propsective employers with the details so they can check whether anything has changed since your last check was carried out.

 

For parents – if you are looking to employ a nanny, you should ask to see a copy of a recent DBS certificate, or you may ask that they provide a new one specifically for you. For checks carried out after 17th June 2013 you can ask whether the applicant has subscribed to the update service. If they have they will be able to provide you with their details and you can go online to check whether their certificate is still up to date. If you see that there have been changes recorded you will need to ask them to apply for a new check. If they have not subscribed to the service then you should request a new check, which will need to be done via an umbrella body such as a nanny agency.

 

Do I need to subscribe?

There is no obligation to subscribe but there are several advantages:

You will not need to apply for a new check every time you apply for a new job. Instead you can demonstrate that your record is clean on an ongoing basis.

The £13 a year can be offset against tax, particularly for temporary nannies and maternity nurses.

Based on changing jobs every 3 years, this will save you time and money as you won’t need to apply for a new check before looking for a new job.

You may never need to fill in a DBS check form again!

 

 

A comprehensive guide for applicants can be found here.

A comprehensive guide for employers can be found here.

 

More information about the DBS, can be found at www.gov.uk/DBS.

Show your appreciation


6-13 May is Nanny Week in the UK, dedicated to the amazing childcare professionals who provide loving care for children in their own homes day after day. A good nanny is more than an employee, they become a vital part of the family, and deserve some appreciation. Obviously nothing replaces being a good, considerate employer all year round, but a little extra can go a very long way.

We asked over on our Facebook page what nannies would like their employers to do to show their appreciation this week, and top of the list was saying ‘Thank You’ – 2 simple words that make a huge difference because they mean that you have noticed what your nanny does and are grateful for it. It doesn’t cost you anything but it will mean the world to your nanny.

If you are in the mood to spend a little more time, effort or cash then coming home early unexpectedly and letting your nanny go home is a great bonus. Getting them a nice cake to have with tea or coffee during nap time, or making sure the fridge is stocked with their favourite snack is another little gesture to show them you care.

Showing your appreciation all year round will make your nanny feel valued, but if you’ve got into the habit of treating them as part of the furniture make a special effort today to show them just how much they mean to you.

How to lose your nanny in 10 days

© Tofi | Dreamstime Stock Photos & Stock Free Images

 

1. Don’t sort the paperwork

Ideally you should have a contract in place before your nanny starts, but if you don’t then make signing one a top priority. Aside from being a legal obligation on your part, it’s a good idea to have the arrangement clarified in writing. You’ll also need her bank details and her National Insurance number, as well as her P45 from her previous job, to pay her correctly.

 

2. Don’t say thank you

It’s nice to say thank you to your nanny at the end of every day, but it’s absolutely vital if she goes out of her way to do something, whether you’ve asked her to or not. You might be paying her but a little gratitude goes a long way.

 

3. Go back on your word

The relationship between a nanny and employer is based on mutual trust and respect. You trust her to care for your children and she trusts you to keep your end of the bargain. If you agree to something, be it going to a specific playgroup or that she can leave half an hour early one day, don’t suddenly turn around and say you’ve changed your mind and it’s no longer possible.

 

4. Tell her she can’t sit on your chair

It’s understandable that even though you’ve let someone into your home you’ll still want to keep a bit of privacy, but do remember that it’s your nanny’s place of work where she will spend a great deal of time, and it’s vital that she feel comfortable. Dictating where she can and can’t sit is petty, and slights like that won’t make for an easy working relationship.

 

5. Be late without notice

Emergencies happen, that’s one of the reason why a nanny is such a great form of childcare, but it absolutely doesn’t excuse lateness with no warning. If your nanny finishes at 6, you haven’t left the office at 5.30 and you know it takes you 45 minutes to get home, you’re already late. Take a moment out of whatever you’re dealing with to call your nanny and apologise. Remember she may have plans for the evening too so she may not be thrilled with the news.

 

6. Don’t top up the kitty or reimburse her for expenses

If you ask your nanny to pick up essentials, such as nappies or bread, or expect her to take your children to activities then it’s expected that you pay for it. It’s courteous to provide a kitty for your nanny so she doesn’t have to fund day to day expenditure out of her own pocket, but if this is the arrangement you have make sure you pay her back promptly.

 

7. Leave a critical note, but don’t suggest improvements

Nannies don’t have mind-reading superpowers (for people over the age of 3, that is) so any time you need to tell your nanny you’d rather she did something a different way, tell her how you’d like it done. Also make sure you give any constructive criticism face to face – it can be really demoralising when someone is nice to your face and then an hour later you discover they weren’t happy at all.

 

8. Ask her to clean your bathroom

Most nannies will happily take care of nursery duties – that is chores related directly to the children such as cleaning up after meals, doing their laundry and hovering their bedrooms and playroom. Although some nannies will be happy to take on additional housekeeping duties, cleaning your bathroom is a step too far. Remember the top priority for a nanny is always the children.

 

9. Take a day off to follow her around

You probably don’t work too well with your boss breathing down your neck and your nanny is no exception. It’s difficult to interact naturally with children, sing, dance and be silly, if you know someone else is judging your every move. Added to that, children always behave differently when their parents are around, so any judgements you make are likely to be based on unsound evidence.

 

10. Don’t pay her

As much as your nanny probably loves her job, as a professional she does expect to be paid. Non-payment is a breach of contract, and your nanny would be perfectly justified in leaving immediately.