Tag: communication

Questions Nannies Should Ask Parents

Interviews can always be daunting! When nannies are preparing for an interview, the first thing they do is practise their answers. By now, they will be used to the crucial questions they will be asked. E.g.  “Why did you choose nannying as a career?” Or “What are your views on childcare.”

What nannies also need to consider is what they’re going to ask when the parent asks that on-the-spot question “Do you have any questions?” Of course a polite answer is to say that they have been very thorough and given all the details you need. Remember that this is a two way process… this is much about the nanny as it is about the family.

A good nanny interview tip would be to show interest in the position & ask well thought-out questions, it will give the opportunity to find out more about the family & their expectations….

Nannies Inc., a premium London nanny agency, recently placed an Ofsted registered, qualified nanny and the mother commented on not only was she polite and gave a good impression, but she was prepared. I asked the nanny to share some tips on how she prepared and she said she took a list of questions with her.
Some of these included:

  • Ask about the family’ routine – what they like doing, their interests, what activities the children enjoy, how they want the day to be structured.

 

  • Ask about expected duties e.g. babysitting, housework etc. This will give the nanny the opportunity to know what is expected of them and whether this is in line with their expectations.

 

  • What method of disciplining do the parents use?

 

  • Are there any house rules the nanny needs to know of – e.g. special diets, religious beliefs, no shoes etc.

 

  • Don’t be afraid to ask about working hours, holiday and the dreaded question about salary. There is no point in being shy about these things, it is best to be upfront.

 

  • Ask to see the home, look at the playroom or especially if the nanny is live-in, ask to see the accommodation & what is provided.

 

The nanny said that she also closed the interview by showing she was interested and asked when the decision would be made and expressed her interest. She also recommended following up with a text or emailing a few hours later to thank the parents for their time.

Now, with these interview tips in mind, it’s time for you to go get that dream job! Good luck!

 

This guest post was written for http://www.nannyjob.co.uk by a Recruitment Consultant at Nannies Incorporated. To find out more about or to view their nanny positions, visit their website here.

 

Sickness etiquette

It’s a fact of life that people get ill, and those in contact with small children more often than most. One of the advantages of a nanny is that they will care for poorly children, but an oft cited disadvantage is that you rely on one person for your childcare, as you do with a childminder, and if they are sick you have no childcare. The sooner everyone knows about any sickness, the easier it is to deal with the disruption.

Tips for parents:

Sick children: As we said a nanny will normally care for sick children as part of their job, but it’s always good to give your nanny a heads up before they arrive. If your nanny is female and your children have an illness which could be dangerous in pregnancy you should warn your nanny in case they are in the early stages and haven’t told you.

Sick parents: There’s no reason your nanny shouldn’t come to work but they might need to adjust their plans slightly to give you the peace and quiet you need to recuperate.

Sick nannies: Before employing a nanny it’s a good idea to have a backup plan in place. Local nanny agencies should have temporary nannies available to work in your area or your employer may offer emergency childcare solutions. Most nannies will only take time off when they’re absolutely incapable of coming to work so even if it’s a day when you have a really important meeting try not to make them feel worse than they already do.

Tips for nannies:

Sick children: Your charges may want Mummy or Daddy, and many more cuddles than usual. Make sure your employers understand that your priority is your poorly charge and the usual jobs might not get done.

Sick parents: It can be hard having parents at home, especially when the children don’t understand that they need to rest. Don’t feel too awkward though – chances are they’re too busy feeling rubbish to listen to your out of tune renditions of head, shoulders, knees and toes at nappy change time.

Sick nannies: Call, rather than text, if you know the night before that you won’t be in the next day. Send a text between 10pm and 6am and follow it up with a phone call to make sure your employers know you won’t be in. If you can suggest any nanny friends who might be happy to cover all or part of the day, and it’s a good idea to have a list in the nanny diary at your boss’s house, then your employers will probably be very grateful.

The less than perfect pram

Buying a pram is a huge decision for parents. In fact it’s probably the baby buy that they spend the most time on and among the most expensive items. Parents to be consider their comfort, what they will use the pram for and whether it will fit in their car….. but understandably they haven’t thought about their nanny.

 

Telling parents that you don’t like their pram is one of the most awkward things to do. You might be worried that you come across as petty or picky but a pram is an essential piece of equipment that you are likely to use every day and if you can’t push it comfortably, fold and unfold it, or fit it in your car then you need to tell them sooner rather than later. In a way it can feel like you’re questioning their parenting choices, because a pram is after all not just a mode of baby transport. It’s a very obvious signal to the rest of the world of the image that they want to project and their ideas may not mesh with what you know is comfortable for you. So how do you go about it?

In this case honestly is the best policy and make it clear that these are your personal feelings about an inanimate object, so rather than saying ‘your pram is really heavy’ try saying ‘I find the pram really heavy’. Offer workable solutions: ask them to teach you how to put it up and down, suggest that you take the bus instead of using your car or that they get a ‘car buggy’ for days out and you can use their pram when walking. If the handles are too high you can approach it in a joky manner, but don’t underestimate how serious a problem it is for you in the long term.

If you know of any affordable replacements then if they offer to get a new pram you can be ready with suggestions that will suit everyone. One of the biggest issues is height difference so if you’ve done some research don’t make the same mistake and forget about your very tall DadBoss!

Smart socialising for nannies

One of the biggest concerns for nannies and parents alike is that nannying can be isolating for both nanny and child. Social contact is important for all human beings and as well as giving children the opportunity to play with others, going to groups and setting up playdates also gives nannies the opportunity to model social skills and how to form healthy relationships. But if you’re new to having a nanny or new to an area, how do you get started?

 

Have clear expectations

Whether you’re a parent or a nanny the interview process is the time to test out the other party’s take on socialising. It’s a question that might throw first-time employers but it can be helpful to remember that nannies don’t have coworkers and benefit from some kind of adult contact during the day so although it might feel like they’re asking to have their friends over to drink your coffee that’s not really the case, they just happen to have a network of ‘colleagues’ that they can take from job to job. There are no hard and fast rules , the most important thing is that both sides are happy with what is agreed.

 

Nannies don’t just have to see nannies

Sometimes new nannies can get hung up on only soicalising with other nannies and miss out on all the other social possibilities out there. While it can be great to meet up with someone who understands where you’re coming from, parents and childminders at groups with similar aged children can also enrich your social circle and at the end of the day playdates should be for children.

 

Be pro-active

Although there is a lot to get to grips with when you start a new job, be pro-active about finding social opportunities. Posting on the Nannyjob Meet Other Nannies messageboard or joining our social club for nannies can help you find nannies working near you and the Places to Go section will help you find activities in your area. Searching for groups and

 

Different social circles or friends in common?

This is probably one of the trickiest social situations to navigate. Are you happy to meet up with your boss’s NCT group and are they comfortable with that? Would you prefer that your nanny only meets up with people you know during work hours? What about playdates for school aged children? What about nannies who only work part-time? Again there are no hard and fast rules but communication is key to finding something that works for both of you!

Christmas presents for childcarers

Want to show your childcarer(s) how much you appreciate them but stuck for ideas? About to nip to Tesco to stock up on tins of Roses or bottles of vino? Hold on just a second and read our handy guide to buying something special for those other special people in your child’s life.

The task of buying for nursery staff can be daunting. Most parents opt for a a special something for their child’s keyworker and a joint gift for the staff in the room – a hamper with teas, herbal teas and coffees or some nice handwash and hand cream. They’re probably overflowing with chocolates and wine so think outside the box a little. Individual pamper hampers are a nice personal gift if you don’t have too many people to buy for or  individual cards with a voucher or gift card for an appropriate store will be appreciated too.

‘I didn’t know what to get the staff at nursery so I bought a plant for the staffroom and decorated it with cards and an ornament for each of them to take home’.

 

You’ll probably know a childminder or nanny better and be able to find something to their taste – a good book, tickets to a show or a gadget you know they’ll love. Unless you know that they love a particular type of chocolate or are partial to a nice G&T of an evening, try to avoid chocolate or alcohol based gifts. Equally a photo of your children, while very sweet, is unlikely to make them light up. They love them very much but chances are they have plenty of photos already. Cash always goes down well but it can feel awkward trying to decide an amount if it’s their only present- 1 week’s salary is a good guide for a nanny.

‘I gave my nanny a KitchenAid , which was less than a week’s salary but far more appreciated, and  a lift home so she didn’t need to take it on the tube!’

 

It can be more difficult giving cash to childminders, and if you’re strapped for cash a week is a lot of money, but if you do then make it clear it’s for them to spend on themselves. Sometimes the best gifts combine the practical with the personal – a case for an iPad or a smart hat and gloves set if you notice theirs are looking a big tatty. A token gift that you’ve put a lot of thought into is worth far more than an envelope stuffed with banknotes.

‘Our childminder is a big tea drinker but I know she restricts her cuppas to when my active 2 year old can’t charge into her and knock them over. I got her a spill proof insulated mug which came in handy when he dropped his nap.’

 

For a casual babysitter an extra bit of cash is probably most appreciated, tucked inside a nice card. If you prefer to give a present rather than slip an extra tenner their way then think about their interests or what they’ll find useful- if they’re a student then funky notebooks or pens for use in lectures may brighten up their day.

‘My babysitter is a retired lady who lives a few doors down and has a beautiful garden. We got her a new pair of gardening gloves and some handcream so she can keep up the good work.’

 

If a carer has their own children with them at work you might want to buy a token gift for them as well. This doesn’t need to be expensive but will be very well received by the children and the thought and effort will be appreciated by your carer too.

Whether you give a significant gift or not,  put the effort into making a card with your children – the glitterier and messier the better – and send a card from yourself as well with a note saying how much you appreciate them! That’s a gift that keeps on giving.

How to keep your nanny – 10 ways

A while ago we posted a tongue in cheek post ‘How to lose your nanny in 10 days‘. Hopefully you’ve avoided making most of these mistakes and have a happy, settled relationship with your nanny. As the festive season looms (to be followed by that horrid January slump) we thought now might be a good time to look at ways you can keep your nanny happy.

  • Remember that one-off gestures are all well and good but the best way to keep your relationship (be it with your nanny or anyone else in fact) is constantly paying attention to the little things. Respecting your nanny will go a long way to ensuring their happiness and if you don’t have time to click on the link RESPECT stands for Rights, Earnings, Space, Professionalism, Expenses, Choices and Time. It’s worth just repeating that last one – your nanny’s finish time is the time they should be walking out the door, not the time you walk in. If you find yourself being persistently late then consider extending your nanny’s hours and paying for that time.
  • Make allowances, because your nanny is a person too, for the occasional late start (whether it’s a public transport mishap or a sleepy alarm clock) or off day. Allowing them to go early on occasion will make them a lot more tolerant of your occasional lateness (be it public transport or a meeting that overruns).  An unscheduled early finish rates pretty highly among the various perks nannies get, by the way! In the same vein appreciate the restrictions your nanny has on their time and let them run personal errands during work hours occasionally.
  • Get them a takeaway when they babysit, and if you have a netflix account or similar encourage them to use it. Or if they prefer to cook for themselves leave a bit of extra cash so they can pick up some special ingredients and have a nice meal.
  • Don’t skimp on sick pay if you can afford it. The odd bug happens to everyone and it’s doubly unfair for a nanny to have an unpaid sick day because they’re throwing up as a result of your little darlings’ generosity with their germs.
  • Let them use the stuff in your house. If you have a Kenwood Chef or a KitchenAid stand mixer and an enthusiastic baker for a nanny who’s planning to make her best friend’s birthday cake with a hand held beater from Tesco then let her use your kitchen one day. If their washing machine breaks down then instead of letting them trek to the launderette put your washing machine temporarily at their disposal. It might bump up your bills a bit but it’ll bump up goodwill even more.
  • Invite your nanny as a guest to significant events for the children like birthdays and christenings, unless you want them to work in which case pay them overtime. Chances are they won’t come but most nannies will appreciate that you think of them as part of the family.
  • Remember them on their birthday and at Christmas (or equivalent major religious festival that you or they celebrate). You don’t need to give an extravagant gift or a month’s salary as a bonus to show your appreciate them and all the work they do. Something small and personal with a voucher for their favourite store will probably go down well. Photographs of your children in expensive frames, while lovely to look at, aren’t a winner unless it’s a leaving gift.
  • Review their performance and their pay once a year. If you can’t afford a pay rise then try and show them you appreciate their work in another way, or give them some extra holiday as a reward for staying with the family. The very least you can do is point out what a great job they’ve done through the year and all the times you’ve noticed and appreciated them going the extra mile. 
  • Recommend them if they want extra babysitting and you know someone who wants a sitter. If your nanny doesn’t want to babysit then point your friend in the direction of our free babysitting section!
  • Finally…. Say thank you. Every day. Without fail.

When it doesn’t work out

Last week we posted about the ‘two week itch’, that point where the reality of your new job (or nanny) sinks in and you start to find things that you’re not happy with. Hopefully these issues can be resolved by communicating openly about your feelings and expectations and you can move forward happily. Unfortunately sometimes the situation doesn’t improve and you’re faced with a choice of bringing the arrangement to an end or persevering but being unhappy.

In a tough market it can be difficult to take the brave decision to give notice. If you’re still in the probationary period the contractual notice may be very short – perhaps one week instead of four, which doesn’t leave much time to find a new job or find a new nanny. You can give more notice that the minimum required but it’s good practice to agree on an end date and stick to that.

Notice should always be given in writing. You don’t need to give your reasons in the letter, but we would strongly recommend having an honest conversation about why you’re choosing to move on. It’s possible that you can still find a way forward, but equally if you just feel that you’re not a good fit for each other then be open about that. Sometimes it can be difficult to put your finger on exactly what’s up but things you can’t measure such as how similar your childcare styles are or how well a nanny has bonded with the children are very important to a good relationship.

Working through the notice period might feel awkard, because in many ways giving notice is personal rejection. Some employers may choose to pay in lieu of notice and it’s not uncommon to feel concern about a nanny’s commitment to the job once notice has been given by either party. Equally nannies might feel that the trust in the relationship has been broken and that can affect their work and allow resentment to build up. It’s still important to remain polite and respectful and work together for the benefit of the children. Maintaining an effective working relationship in dififcult circumstances is a sign of professionalism and maturity.

Some employers will take the notice period into account when writing a reference and some won’t. Some will refuse to provide a reference altogether but that can leave a nanny in a tricky situation. Employers should be prepared to at least provide a written reference confirming dates and duties, and if it was the employer’s choice to give notice and the reasons for terminating the contract are mentioned in a verbal reference they should make sure these were raised with the nanny and the nanny given opportunities to improve. Where the job was obtained through an agency the agency should be able to confirm to any future employer that it’s not a suspicious gap on the nanny’s CV.

If you need to have this difficult conversation then choose a time when the children are occupied and not just as one of you is about to rush out the door. It’s usually better to put it off for day but have the time to talk. Never leave a letter for the other party to find when you’re not around!

Childcare to go!

Whether it’s action-packed adventure or chilling in the sun, more and more families are taking childcare with them on holiday. Travelling is increasingly part of a permanent nanny’s job or a temporary nanny can provide flexible, consistent, tailor-made childcare for families who just want a helping hand on holiday.*

 

3 things to talk about

– Money : For permanent nannies working normal hours means normal pay. Employers are responsible for paying all out-of-pocket expenses including flights, accommodation, food and travel insurance. If accommodation is limited then remember that nannies who have to share a room with the children usually expect to be paid a bit extra to compensate for the inconvenience, especially if a child still wakes in the night.
– Time off: Any time a nanny is expected to be present counts as work. Great bosses make it clear when nanny is welcome to relax by themselves or go out, and try to keep the children from barging in, just as a nanny would if asked to occupy the children while their bosses relax. Most nannies are happy to swap a morning for an evening babysitting or travel on a Sunday for a chance to shop or sightsee midweek but respect the hours agreed in the contract, even if they aren’t the usual 8am-6pm.
– Travelling time: In general travelling days, where the nanny travels with the family, are paid and as travelling can be lengthy (especially if it involves a 4am start) some overtime might be expected too. If employers happy to book a seat in a separate section of the plane then their nanny could have that time off during the day but chances their assistance will be wanted and they’re still prevented from spending the time as they choose.

 

2 Notes for nannies

– Check your nanny insurance. Most will cover you for travel with your permanent family for a certain number of days per year within the EU but there may be exclusions and this doesn’t replace travel or medical insurance for you!
– Don’t expect it to be a holiday for: it might be sunny, there might be a pool but you are still on duty!

 

1 top tip

– We hope travelling with your nanny or employers will be enjoyable, but if it doesn’t work out then don’t let it ruin a good relationship!

Show your appreciation


6-13 May is Nanny Week in the UK, dedicated to the amazing childcare professionals who provide loving care for children in their own homes day after day. A good nanny is more than an employee, they become a vital part of the family, and deserve some appreciation. Obviously nothing replaces being a good, considerate employer all year round, but a little extra can go a very long way.

We asked over on our Facebook page what nannies would like their employers to do to show their appreciation this week, and top of the list was saying ‘Thank You’ – 2 simple words that make a huge difference because they mean that you have noticed what your nanny does and are grateful for it. It doesn’t cost you anything but it will mean the world to your nanny.

If you are in the mood to spend a little more time, effort or cash then coming home early unexpectedly and letting your nanny go home is a great bonus. Getting them a nice cake to have with tea or coffee during nap time, or making sure the fridge is stocked with their favourite snack is another little gesture to show them you care.

Showing your appreciation all year round will make your nanny feel valued, but if you’ve got into the habit of treating them as part of the furniture make a special effort today to show them just how much they mean to you.

How to lose your nanny in 10 days

© Tofi | Dreamstime Stock Photos & Stock Free Images

 

1. Don’t sort the paperwork

Ideally you should have a contract in place before your nanny starts, but if you don’t then make signing one a top priority. Aside from being a legal obligation on your part, it’s a good idea to have the arrangement clarified in writing. You’ll also need her bank details and her National Insurance number, as well as her P45 from her previous job, to pay her correctly.

 

2. Don’t say thank you

It’s nice to say thank you to your nanny at the end of every day, but it’s absolutely vital if she goes out of her way to do something, whether you’ve asked her to or not. You might be paying her but a little gratitude goes a long way.

 

3. Go back on your word

The relationship between a nanny and employer is based on mutual trust and respect. You trust her to care for your children and she trusts you to keep your end of the bargain. If you agree to something, be it going to a specific playgroup or that she can leave half an hour early one day, don’t suddenly turn around and say you’ve changed your mind and it’s no longer possible.

 

4. Tell her she can’t sit on your chair

It’s understandable that even though you’ve let someone into your home you’ll still want to keep a bit of privacy, but do remember that it’s your nanny’s place of work where she will spend a great deal of time, and it’s vital that she feel comfortable. Dictating where she can and can’t sit is petty, and slights like that won’t make for an easy working relationship.

 

5. Be late without notice

Emergencies happen, that’s one of the reason why a nanny is such a great form of childcare, but it absolutely doesn’t excuse lateness with no warning. If your nanny finishes at 6, you haven’t left the office at 5.30 and you know it takes you 45 minutes to get home, you’re already late. Take a moment out of whatever you’re dealing with to call your nanny and apologise. Remember she may have plans for the evening too so she may not be thrilled with the news.

 

6. Don’t top up the kitty or reimburse her for expenses

If you ask your nanny to pick up essentials, such as nappies or bread, or expect her to take your children to activities then it’s expected that you pay for it. It’s courteous to provide a kitty for your nanny so she doesn’t have to fund day to day expenditure out of her own pocket, but if this is the arrangement you have make sure you pay her back promptly.

 

7. Leave a critical note, but don’t suggest improvements

Nannies don’t have mind-reading superpowers (for people over the age of 3, that is) so any time you need to tell your nanny you’d rather she did something a different way, tell her how you’d like it done. Also make sure you give any constructive criticism face to face – it can be really demoralising when someone is nice to your face and then an hour later you discover they weren’t happy at all.

 

8. Ask her to clean your bathroom

Most nannies will happily take care of nursery duties – that is chores related directly to the children such as cleaning up after meals, doing their laundry and hovering their bedrooms and playroom. Although some nannies will be happy to take on additional housekeeping duties, cleaning your bathroom is a step too far. Remember the top priority for a nanny is always the children.

 

9. Take a day off to follow her around

You probably don’t work too well with your boss breathing down your neck and your nanny is no exception. It’s difficult to interact naturally with children, sing, dance and be silly, if you know someone else is judging your every move. Added to that, children always behave differently when their parents are around, so any judgements you make are likely to be based on unsound evidence.

 

10. Don’t pay her

As much as your nanny probably loves her job, as a professional she does expect to be paid. Non-payment is a breach of contract, and your nanny would be perfectly justified in leaving immediately.