Nanny Contract: Why and How

When you hire a nanny, you become an employer. And as an employer, you will need to provide your nanny with a contract detailing important information about her responsibilities as your employee, and your responsibilities as her employer.

Why Do We Need a Written Contract?
Verbal agreements are legally binding, but they are open to interpretation. Furthermore, providing a written contract shows that you take your responsibilities as her employer seriously, and that is important. Feeling valued is a big part of being a happy nanny – and happy nannies are usually great nannies.

Employment law will protect both of you regardless of whether or not you have a nanny contract in place, but a contract is personal to your own circumstances. Employment law covers the basics.

What Should be Covered in a Nanny Contract?
There are two schools of thought here. Some believe that a nanny contract should be extensive, covering things like duties and house rules (if the nanny is live-in). Others say that the contract should cover the basics, and that the details of day-to-day tasks and responsibilities should be covered in a separate job description document. Either way, your nanny contract should always include the following points:

Your name and the nanny’s name
Place of work
Start date (and end date, if the nanny is filling a temporary position such as maternity leave)
Job title
Weekly working hours
Details of the nanny’s salary – including when and how often she will be paid
Details of the nanny’s holiday entitlement
Details of the nanny’s sick leave entitlement
Details of the nanny’s pension (if there is no pension plan, this should be stated)
Notice period
Probation/trial period (if there is one)
Information on disciplinary procedures
Details of sackable offences.

How Can I Be Sure Our Contract is Legally Satisfactory?
If you use a nanny agency to hire your nanny, they will be able to provide you with a sample contract that you can amend as necessary. If you wish to create your own contract from scratch, it may be a wise idea to seek advice from a professional.

The nanny contract should, ideally, be drawn up and signed by both parties (and the nanny provided with a copy) before the nanny starts work. In any case, the contract should always be dealt with within one or two months of the nanny’s employment start date.

What If We Want to Change the Contract?
If you and your nanny wish to change any terms on your nanny contract, you are free to do so at any time. A new contract should be drawn up and signed by both parties, making the old contract obsolete.

How to Choose an Au Pair

Choosing an au pair can seem like a very daunting task, especially to first-time host families. There is a wealth of information online about the important points to think about when hiring an au pair, which although helpful, can also be rather daunting.

In this article we will attempt to condense this information and make it easier for you to make this important decision.

Talk to Other Host Families
This should be your first port of call when starting the process of looking for a suitable au pair for your family. There is no substitute for hearing the experiences of somebody who has been there. Many host families would have hired several au pairs over the years, and as a result will likely have lots of nuggets of wisdom and tips to share with you.

The easiest (and usually most practical) way to connect with other host families is via the internet. There are many forums online that one can join in order to ask questions and network with other families who have been in the same position as you.

Au Pair Agencies
There are hundreds of au pair agencies advertised and just choosing one can be a daunting task alone. The first point covered – talking to other host families – will be your best bet for finding an au pair agency with a good reputation. Word of mouth is one of the most reliable measures of great service, after all. UK host families can also make use of the au pair agency directory at the British Au Pair Agency Association (BAPAA) to help them choose a reputable agency.

Consider Your Needs
When choosing an au pair, you’ll need to think about what would make the most compatible match for you and your children. Everybody’s needs are different, and au pair agencies can help find a suitable match, but you will need to have a clear idea in mind of what you are looking for. Remember, au pairs are not permitted to have sole charge of children under the age of two, and some might have very limited childcare experience. The level of childcare you require should be take into consideration when ‘vetting’ au pairs for their suitability – for example, the age of your children and how independent they are (ie how much actual ‘care’ will be required, rather than mostly supervision).

Another thing to consider is whether or not the au pair can drive. If the au pair will be required to do school runs and other trips, you will want to ensure that the au pair you choose is able to drive. Remember, it is the responsibility of the host family to make sure the au pair is insured to drive the family car, and to provide the fuel for work-related trips.

Get to Know Them
Emailing, talking on the phone and using Skype are all great ways to spend some time getting to know your prospective au pair before you take the plunge and send them a written offer to consider. Choosing an au pair is a big decision – as is choosing a host family – so get to know each other as much as you can.

Babysitting Jobs: What to Expect

If you are new to babysitting jobs, you may be nervous about what to expect when you turn up at the home of a new family. Even if you have had childcare experience before, you could be worried about bonding with the children, trying to carry out the parents’ wishes and keeping the children happy at the same time.

If you’re about to start venturing into the world of babysitting jobs, this article may be able to help you. Following are some of the challenges that babysitters face, and tips on how to deal with them.

Unhappy Children
It’s very possible that the children in your care may become upset when the parents leave, or they may begin to miss them later on. The best way to deal with this is to allow them to express their feelings and empathise with them – telling them that you understand their upset, and that you promise to keep them safe, will go a long way. Resist the urge to distract them out of their upset. Offer activities to do, by all means, but trying to ‘cheer them up’ constantly will only make them feel as though their feelings don’t matter.

Unruly Children
Some children deal with their difficult feelings by behaving in an unruly manner. They might refuse to eat the food their parents have left, insist that their mum said they could stay up late, or refuse point blank to go to bed. Some babysitters can feel that the children are ‘ganging up’ on them, and testing their authority. This may well be the case.

The most important thing to do is to stay calm and light-hearted. If the children see that they are rattling you, their behaviour may well continue. Make sure you are absolutely clear on the rules before the parents leave – for example, what time the children should be in bed, or how much TV they are allowed to watch – so that if they try to tell you otherwise, you won’t be swayed. The parents will much prefer you ask them the same thing three times before they leave than to deal with a call from you at 9pm, asking you to clarify bedtime. Write down the information so you have it to hand.

Emergency Situations
Thankfully, emergency situations are not common situations to have to deal with at babysitting jobs, but you should still be prepared:
Have a list of emergency contact numbers available – the parents mobile numbers, the numbers of the children’s grandparents, and one other contact number of someone close to the children, just in case
Be sure to have enough spare change on you to pay for a taxi should you need to use one in an emergency
Take your mobile phone with you, and make sure you have credit (and a fully charged battery)
Be prepared to use first aid. Attend a paediatric first aid course prior to your first babysitting job if you can – if not, seek first aid tutorial videos from a reputable source online on common problems such as choking and resuscitation, and take a real first aid course as soon as possible.

Nursery Care to Suit Your Child

Nursery childcare can often seem like a less-than-ideal option, due to the often-large groups of children and staff. Parents often worry that their child will be ‘lost in the shuffle’, missing out on the individual care and attention they need to learn and develop.

However, not all nurseries are created equal. There are three main types of nursery, some of which will take children from a few weeks old and some that don’t enroll them until the age of two, which provide different types of early years education.

Montessori Nurseries
The Montessori approach to education is one that has become very popular with parents (and childcare professionals) in recent years. Montessori education is based on the belief that children should be allowed to learn, develop and grow at their own pace.

In Montessori nurseries, the teachers provide learning opportunities and guide the children, rather than planning organised activities. The children explore the world around them on their own terms, choosing for themselves what they want to play with and using their senses to explore those items and activities. Montessori nurseries focus on each child as an individual, allowing them to facilitate their own learning.

Steiner Nurseries
Sometimes referred to as Steiner Waldorf education, Steiner early years education is based on creativity, practical skills and placing the child at the centre of their own learning.

The Steiner ideals place cognitive, emotional, physical and social skills side by side in terms of importance. Reading isn’t usually introduced until after age 6 (when the child would leave the Steiner nursery and, ideally, attend a Steiner primary school) and children are encouraged to master physical skills first – such as baking their own bread to eat together, and tidying up after themselves. Movement to music is a big part of Steiner nursery education, and the children are taught by example rather than instruction. Free play is encouraged every day throughout all age groups in Steiner educational facilities, as playing well is linked to increased empathy and less aggression in children.

There are many accredited Steiner nurseries in the UK, and many more that adopt Steiner principles but are not accredited, due to the fact that they only offer childcare and education up to the age of 5, rather than 6.

Mainstream Nurseries
The aim of most mainstream nurseries is to ensure that all children are at the same level, education-wise, by the time they move up from nursery to primary school. To do this, they have adopted the Foundation Stage Curriculum. Many Montessori nurseries have adopted the Foundation Stage Curriculum too, but use different methods to achieve the goals.

Mainstream nurseries mostly work on the principle belief that children need structured and planned activities in order to get the most out of their education. The nursery staff are required to create a balance of adult-planned activities and free play, both indoors and out, in order to help the children achieve the goals set by the Foundation Stage Curriculum.

Many parents choose mainstream nurseries because they feel that it will make the transition to a mainstream school environment easier later on, due to the structured activities and scheduled days.

How to Choose Independent Midwives for a Home Birth

Independent midwives are becoming a popular choice among pregnant families. Many mothers feel safest in the hands of midwives who do not have to deal with the problems of understaffing in NHS hospitals, and prefer the more personal approach.

Independent midwives are generally most popular amongst women who want as natural a birth as possible. Childbirth is seen as an important rite of passage by many women, so it’s understandable that they wish to hire midwives whose ideals mesh with their own.

So, how do you go about choosing your midwives? Here are some of the things you would want to consider.

What are their perinatal mortality and morbidity rates?

Perinatal mortality and morbidity are the statistics that you should be concerned with when choosing your midwives. The terms cover death or serious injury in late term pregnancy, during birth and the immediate postpartum period. Of course, some deaths cannot be avoided, but you will want to know whether their statistics are within normal ranges.

What is their transfer rate?

Many people who are hoping for a home birth will look for the midwives with the lowest transfer rate. A low transfer rate is good for those who are seeking a natural home birth, but you should also look at this number in conjunction with their perinatal mortality rates. A low transfer rate coupled with a higher than average perinatal mortality rate is a sign that you should run for the hills.

What are their feelings towards natural birth?

If it is important to you to have a natural birth – and if you’re seeking a home birth, that’s most probably the case – you will want to be in the hands of midwives who believe in natural birth as much as you do. Finding a balance is hard sometimes as midwives are medical professionals first and foremost – their primary concern is your health, and the health of your baby. You cannot expect professional midwives to agree to attend a home birth if the risk of danger to you or the baby is too high. Of course, your eligibility for home birth will depend on many factors such as any previous pregnancy complications, your distance from the hospital and how many children you have had. Again, balance is the key. Try to find midwives who are passionate about, and trust in natural birth and its benefits, without being too dismissive of the fact that sometimes complications occur despite all our hard work in preparing.

What happens if you need to transfer?

You will need to know what happens if you end up having to transfer to hospital. Will your midwives accompany you? And in what capacity will they accompany you? Usually, they will accompany you in the capacity of a doula (a labour and post-partum support person) but you will need to check this before the birth.

What happens if your midwives aren’t available?

Babies rarely come when they are expected to, and sometimes emergencies will crop up that mean your midwives won’t be available to attend your birth. Make sure that they have a contingency plan. Usually there will be many midwives within a private practice, but make sure that there will always be somebody available to come to you.

Self-Care for a Support Worker

Being a support worker can be a wonderfully rewarding career. However, like other positions that are involved in supporting and caring for vulnerable families, it can be incredibly emotionally draining, too.

It takes a special kind of person to be a support worker, for sure – but even if you are that special type, you still may find yourself feeling drained and emotionally battered after dealing with particularly tough cases.

Self-care is incredibly important for anybody working in such an environment. Following are a list of ideas that you might want to employ to help you cope with the emotional stresses and strains of being a support worker.

Put on your cape

It may sound silly to some, but visualisation techniques can be very useful for helping us to deal with difficult situations, especially emotionally charged ones. You might wish to try the cape visualisation when going to, and leaving, work.

As you approach your workplace, close your eyes and take a few deep breaths in order to centre yourself. Imagine yourself putting on a thick, bright white cape – this will be your emotional protection throughout the day. Then, when you leave, centre yourself again and imagine taking the cape off. It sounds very simplistic but it’s a very effective way to help you leave your work at the workplace.

Talk

If you’re finding it very hard to deal with the emotions that a particular case is stirring up in you, make sure you talk to somebody about it. Keeping strong feelings such as these inside is not healthy. If you are struggling a lot with a particular case, try to talk to one of your superiors about perhaps getting some support yourself. You may find that a past trauma of your own has been triggered by a negative situation in the family you’re supporting. Seeking help before it gets on top of you is far more desirable than waiting for it to swallow you up.

Take time out for you

We all have busy lives, but we all deserve to take time out to care for ourselves. Those of us who work in emotionally charged careers such as that of a support worker may find themselves emotionally exhausted as well as physically after a long, hard week. Be sure to set aside at least a couple of hours at the weekend to do something that makes you really happy – making art, meeting friends for coffee, or just lounging in the bath with a glass of something delicious are all great ways to unwind. Be sure to surround yourself with positive energy when you are outside of work – swear off the 10 o’clock news if needs be!

Remember the successes

The majority of cases that a support worker will deal with will have what could be called a “happy ending”, and the rewarding nature of the job is usually enough to help support workers cope with the more negative times. However, if youre dealing with a particularly tough situation, it may be useful to remind yourself of all the good you have done so far, and the good you are doing right now – even if the fruits of your labour are not immediate. Knowing that you are making a positive difference to a family is a very good feeling indeed.

Au Pair Etiquette

An au pair is different from other childcare providers, and as such they should be treated so. In this article we will go over some of the rules and etiquette you should keep in mind if you choose to utilise the services of an au pair.

The au pair is part of your family

She is living in your home and you are paying her a wage, so you are her employer. However, the au pair should be viewed as part of your family rather than a separate employee. Au pairs are not paid especially well, and part of their payment is the chance to be integrated into family life and the opportunity to be exposed to the English life and language. Involve them in family life and treat them as a member of your own family. Don’t bark orders at her, or shout at her if you are upset with something she has done – sit down with her and discuss any issues you’re having instead just as you would any other person. Au pairs are just as deserving of respect as anyone else.

The au pair is not your skivvy

As previously mentioned, au pairs are only paid a pocket money wage on top of their board, and as such they should not have unreasonable demands made upon them. The responsibilities of your au pair should be clearly laid out at the start so she knows what is expected of her, and you should respect the boundaries that you have both laid in place – for example, if she has the weekends off, she should not be expected to watch the children or help around the house. She may offer if she sees you need help, but it should never be requested. Additionally, be sure not to treat her like a ‘cinderella’ – only light housework duties and childcare for children over the age of two should be expected, and again, these responsibilities should be clearly laid out and agreed upon. If you find extra duties come up, discuss them with her and see if she would be happy to take them on in return for a pay rise.

The au pair has other responsibilities

Au pairs are primarily in the country to learn about the culture and the language. The au pair will be attending some kind of language school and will need time to study alone. Au pairs can legally work up to 35 hours a week, unless they are from Romania or Bulgaria in which case they may only be on duty for 25 hours each week. They must have two days off each week, and at least one full weekend off every month.

Respect is a two-way street

It is not unreasonable to expect a good work ethic and a cheerful disposition from your au pair. If you treat her with the respect she deserves, she will likely be very happy in your home and happy to carry out her duties. Remember, clear communication at all times is key. This can be difficult if the au pair only has a limited understanding of English, but it’s possible – and it will become easier as time goes on, and the au pair becomes more fluent.

SLEEP FAIRY AND PARENT RESCUE

IS THREE THE MAGIC NUMBER TO GET YOUR BABY TO SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT?

First time parenting is a challenge and the pressure can really get to you. As you have a second, and third, life can become even trickier with more little people to please.

Oxfordshire based Dee Booth, known locally as The Sleep Fairy, is a parent and sleep expert with a track record of settling babies and young children, often in just 3 nights. Her success is based on getting them into a manageable routine, and teaching parents to allow their children to learn to sleep alone. She uses her 15 years experience as a mother, nanny and parent coach to look at the problems and struggles parents are having with sleep and behaviour and how best to resolve it.

Dee said: “The most important thing to consider with babies and sleep is that every child is different and will sleep through the night, peacefully, when they have been allowed to develop the skills to settle themselves throughout the night.

A one-size-fits-all approach not only doesn’t work, but also overwhelms new parents, and often creates an unnecessary feeling of failure. This is impacted by an overload of parenting and sleep books and websites that aren’t written just for ‘your child’, whereas my one-to-one advice is all about your family, and if you follow my advice, it works.

I visit each family in the comfort of their own home, and observe the household, and their current routines and discuss the methods being used. I then work alongside them to find a solution that is right for them. Improvements happen fast and remain in place long after my assistance is over. Sometimes just having an outside perspective and making a few small tweaks is all that is needed”.

Dee’s top 5 sleep tips for parents who have tried everything else and still can’t get their baby to settle and sleep, are:

Establish a good feeding routine during the day – allow a minimum of four hours between feeds / meals
Ensure you set-up a consistent, calm, relaxed bath and bedtime routine for your baby and use this every night
Ensure both parents, and other carers, use the same confident, consistent, firm behaviour not only at bedtimes but also during the day

I do believe that with many sleep issues, simply following my advice means a new routine and pattern of behaviour will be in place after 3 nights”.

Sarah from Surrey:

“Sleep Fairy, and Guardian Angel, she saved my life and my sanity! I was at my wits end when I sought help. My 10 month old wouldn’t sleep at night or during the day, but with the Sleep Fairy’s support, guidance and understanding, Ava is now the perfect sleeper. Thank you Sleep Fairy from all of us!!”

Natalie from Buckinghamshire:

“My second son was difficult to get into a routine and Dee was a TOTAL lifesaver. I didn’t think her 3 night rule would work, but it did! He is now sleeping from 7pm to 7am or later with a 2 hour nap after lunch. The best call I ever made was to Dee!”

Dee also offers phone sessions across the UK and guidance with:

Feeding issues
Tantrums
Toilet training
“the terrible twos”
Colic
Early rising

For more information go to www.sleepfairyparentrescue.co.uk or call 07977 462252 for an informal chat.

Nanny Interview Tips: What to Ask

When you interview for a nanny job, it’s not just you going under scrutiny. The interview is an opportunity for both nanny and employer to figure out if they are a good fit for one another.

During your interview, there will be a time that your prospective employer asks you if you have any questions for them. So what kind of questions should you be asking?

Parenting Style

It is very important that you and your employer are in agreement with how the children should be raised. You need to feel comfortable employing the same or similar discipline methods as the parents would use. It would not be fair for your employer to expect you to use, for example, time-outs, if that is not something you are comfortable with – instead, they should find a nanny whose childcare philosophy meshes with their own. Similarly, the parents need to know that their own efforts to discipline their children are not going to be undermined when they are in the care of their nanny. Be sure that you are both on the same page. It is worth bringing a written list of specific questions relating to common situations – for example, what would the parents do if an older sibling hit a younger one, or if a sibling is repeatedly snatching from another.

Holidays

By law, nannies are entitled to 5.6 weeks of holiday per year, which includes 4 working weeks of standard leave and 8 bank holidays as paid days off. Some nannies will be offered more holiday than this, but this is the statutory amount that, by law, you are entitled to. When interviewing for a new nanny job, it is worth discussing how the timings of your holidays will be arranged. Unlike most other jobs, it generally isn’t possible to take time off whenever you feel like you need a break, because the parents will need to find additional childcare for that time which can be difficult to do. What many nannies agree with their employers is that they will choose when to take two of their weeks, and the employers will choose the other two weeks – they may choose the time to coincide with when they will be taking a family holiday, or when the parents themselves have time off work. Finding out where each of you stand when it comes to holiday now will save having to deal with aggravation later down the line.

Other Duties

It is essential to find out at an early stage if you will be required to complete any other duties on top of your childcare duties. Housekeeping arrangements can be somewhat of a bugbear if not dealt with early on. Obviously, you will need to do a basic amount of housekeeping in order to keep the home running smoothly whilst you are in charge, but it is worth finding out if your employer expects you to do anything on top of the required amount of laundry, cooking and picking up after yourself and the children. Nannies are generally not housekeepers too, but some will happily take on extra housekeeping duties – find out what your employer expects.

How to Choose a Childminder

Choosing a childminder for your children can be a difficult task. Finding a childminder who you and your child click with, and who can provide childcare at the times you need it, isn’t always easy.

It can also be difficult to know which questions to ask when meeting a prospective childminder. Following is a list of tips that you may find useful.

The First Visit

When you visit, take your child. Allow the childminder to interact with your child and observe how your child reacts to them. It may take your child a while to warm up to them, but the childminder should be open, friendly and non-pressuring. Talk to the childminder before the meeting to arrange a time when you will be able to stay for a decent amount of time – 1 to 2 hours – as this will give your child a chance to get acquainted and for you to get a better idea of whether they will be a good fit for each other.

What to Ask

Don’t be afraid to ask as many questions as you wish – a good childminder will be happy to answer any you may have and to help you feel at ease when making your choice. You may wish to ask questions such as –

Will they provide food for your child, and if so, what kind? Do they provide cooked meals, or simple snacks and sandwiches?
What kind of discipline methods do they use, and how they would deal with certain behaviours (such as snatching, hitting and other normal behaviours for young children)?
How much time do they generally spend out and about with the children? Do they visit the park/play in the garden/go on outings to local places of interest?
Do they drive?
How many children will they generally have in their care when they will have your child?

You will also wish to enquire about costs. Childminders generally charge around £3-£4 an hour. Some will make additional charges for food and drink, whereas others will include a certain number of meals and snacks in their costs. The childminder will have a sheet or two that you will be able to take home which will have detailed information about costs, notice periods, what will happen in the event of sickness and what you will be expected to provide (spare clothing, sunblock, etc).

And, of course, you will need to find out whether or not your chosen childminder will be able to look after your children at the times you need. Good childminders are often well-booked, and have waiting lists, so it is important that you start to seek a childminder with plenty of time to spare if you are returning to work, for example, after maternity leave.

Avoiding Problems

As with any professional relationship, being upfront and honest from the beginning is the best way to avoid problems later down the line. If you have any doubts about a childminder, don’t feel pressure to hire her because you gave her the impression you would when you met. A good childminder will fully understand the importance of your decision and will certainly have no hard feelings if you choose to go with somebody else – after all, your child’s well-being is the most important thing.