Adapting to living with a family

Live in child carers, such as live in nannies, maternity nurses and au pairs, have to not only get to grips with demands of the job but also balance the dynamic of living in someone else’s house. The exact relationship depends on the job – for example au pairs are expected to be part of the family whereas nannies are more independent – but there are some things which almost every live in child carer experiences.

Live in child carers, such as live in nannies, maternity nurses and au pairs, have to not only get to grips with demands of the job but also balance the dynamic of living in someone else’s house. The exact relationship depends on the job – for example au pairs are expected to be part of the family whereas nannies are more independent – but there are some things which almost every live in child carer experiences.

Household rhythms

Initially aligning times of meals and going to bed can be tough. Going to bed early, or being the last one up at night, may mean you feel a bit apart from the family you’re living with. If you don’t function until your second cup of coffee then negotiating the kitchen in the morning can be a challenge too.

Eating different food

Even when you come from the same culture every family has their preferred meals and cooking methods. Food is so important that not having your favourite meals can have a bigger impact than you would think, or even grilled bacon instead of fried.

Knowing where to go when your employers are having a private conversation

When you live with people it can be hard to have privacy, and conversations can’t always be schedule. Almost every nanny has walked into the kitchen only to have their employers stop talking. Nine times out of ten it’s nothing bad, just something your bosses may not want you to know (yet) such as their plans for another baby. Worse still is knowing where to put yourself when your employers have an argument.

Negotiating bathroom time, and hot water usage

If you don’t have your own bathroom there may be peak times to avoid, and even when you do the sound of running water may disturb others. A greater crime is using all the hot water. Nobody likes a cold shower, so be mindful of how much you use, especially when you have guests, and find out how to put on the immersion heater or boost the heating.

Hearing children in your time off

Whether it’s the middle of the night or the crack of dawn on a Saturday morning, if your bedroom is within earshot of the children you’ll probably get disturbed. Much as you may love them, if you’ve planned to sleep, their noise is a nuisance you could do without. Even in the middle of the day if you’re trying to read, watch TV or skype a friend those noises can be a disturbance.

Remember that it can take time to adapt to your new housemates, and communication is really important not just about your working hours but regarding living arrangements too. Before taking a job it’s a good idea to ask about household routines and how much they expect you to be around vs in your room so you can decide whether you’ll fit in comfortably.

Becoming a maternity nurse

Maternity nurses, or maternity nannies, are newborn specialists who work with parents for the first few weeks of a new baby’s life to help the adjust to parenthood and implement a good routine. They usually work 24 hours a day, 5 or 6 days a week, and an experienced maternity nurse can earn in excess of £1000 per week. They are self-employed and get work from agencies, advertising themselves on sites such as nannyjob.co.uk and via word of mouth. Jobs are can last between 4 weeks and 6 months so maternity nurses are always keeping an eye out for work, attending interviews and planning ahead. Maternity nurses also need to keep an eye on their accounts, keep track of expenses and submit their own tax returns.

Many families request specialist qualifications such as MNT’s Maternity Practitioner, NEST Postnatal Carer or BabyEm’s Maternity Nurse Training courses. Other courses which cover breastfeeding, postnatal depression or multiples to name just a few can also be valuable additions to your CV. Most course providers recommend that you have substantial experience with newborns before studying to become a maternity nurse so you can match the theory you learn in the classroom with your practical experiences. This experience will also give you valuable references when you are trying to get your first maternity nurse booking. Trainee maternity nurses often charge much less than their experienced colleagues in order to gain experience, work with families expecting their second or third child or take on part-time day or night work.

A maternity nurse needs to be cheerful, flexible, organised and able to cope on very little sleep. It’s not just about working with newborn babies, the goal is to involve the parents from the start and leave them feeling confident and able to look after their baby on their own when you leave, but it can be a rewarding progression from nannying into an exciting new career. If you are interested in finding out more, why not ask your questions on our community area?

Meet The Blissful Baby Expert

 

 

This is a guest blog from Lisa Clegg, author of The Blissful Baby Expert. She shares how she came to write her manual for parents.

I grew up the 4th eldest out of 26 grandchildren, surrounded by babies and small children from a young age. I’ve always been particularly interested in small babies and I was always the one who volunteered to take any babies off their parents’ hands at family get togethers and parties!

All I ever wanted to do was get a job working with children and after leaving school I went straight to college to do what was then called the NNEB-equivalent to an NVQ level 3 in childcare.

After completing the 2-year course I went straight into my 1st nanny position where I had sole charge of 3 children. I continued in nannying up until I had my 1st baby  – Jack – in October 2002.

After my 2nd son was born in 2006, I began doing some maternity night nanny contracts. I discovered night nannying by accident really browsing though the nannyjob website which I enjoyed doing on a regular basis. Like many people I knew that some mothers employ someone to come and live in and help them after the birth of their baby, a Maternity Nurse.  However, I didn’t realise that a mother could employ someone to  JUST do the nights-allowing her the crucial part of the day covered so that she could get some sleep! Having just gone through the sleepless nights myself with my 2nd baby I knew first hand how torturous it can be when feel like you will never get a full night’s sleep again! A good night’s sleep means you feel like you can cope with anything during the day!

I absolutely loved night nannying as it gave me access to the age group I loved working with the most – those tiny newborns – and I knew exactly how the mothers I worked for would be feeling. I LOVE my job and get so much satisfaction from starting work with a new family, who are usually in chaos with neither parent knowing quite where to start! It’s fantastic to leave them confident about caring for their baby, with a happy baby who eats and sleeps well.

By using a routine as a basis and gently steering babies in the right direction from day 1,  I have left happy parents at the end of each contract whose babies typically drop their night feed between 8-10 weeks, settle well during sleep times and are in general very relaxed happy babies from day to day.

It has worked for many mums and babies and it was all of them that inspired me to write my book THE BLISSFUL BABY EXPERT. I wanted to reach out to so many more parents who are desperate for answers to basic questions and who just need someone to point them in the right direction of keeping life with a new-born baby on an even keel. My book gives mums that starting block and as a mother of 3 children myself I understand first hand how difficult life with a new-born can be when you are not sure where to begin!

This guide has information on essential and non-essential items and equipment to buy for your baby, what to expect when going into hospital, coming home and the first few days and weeks, feeding, sleep, weaning, common problems and illnesses for mum and baby and even developmental milestones.

It has been tested by many parents with young babies and they all agree that there is nothing on the market that is as honest, informative and parent friendly. All reviews so far have been fantastic. As a mother, I can empathise with  all these parents and have been through many of the same scenarios. This is not something that a lot of authors who have written parenting books can say, as many of them have never had their own children and experienced the challenges that motherhood brings!

I hope that my book will continue to help many more mums in the future.

 

THE BLISSFUL BABY EXPERT can be purchased from Amazon in ebook form, which can be downloaded to an Ipad or Iphone as well as many other devices once the kindle App has been installed,  or paperbacks can be ordered through the website www.theblissfulbabyexpert.co.uk