{"id":1052,"date":"2023-03-20T15:16:00","date_gmt":"2023-03-20T14:46:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.nannyjob.co.uk\/blog\/?p=1052"},"modified":"2023-03-20T15:16:00","modified_gmt":"2023-03-20T14:46:00","slug":"nanny-envy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.nannyjob.co.uk\/blog\/nanny-envy\/","title":{"rendered":"Nanny envy"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cI\u2019m worried she likes her nanny better than me\u2026\u201d\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cThey behave so perfectly for their nanny and are monsters when I\u2019m around!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cMy nanny sees my friends more often than I do.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

If you\u2019ve ever felt this then you\u2019re not alone. You\u2019re suffering from nanny envy and it\u2019s actually surprisingly normal, even natural, to feel this way. Nor is it confined to having a nanny \u2013 you may well feel the same way about your child\u2019s attachment to a childminder or nursery nurse. So why does no-one ever talk about it?<\/p>\n

Part of the problem is admitting that you\u2019re envious of your nanny means admitting that you\u2019d rather be at home with your children, and that might be seen as regretting your decision to work. It isn\u2019t a binary situation, though, and the decision to work depends on many factors ranging from financial necessity to keeping your sanity intact. Your feelings may also change from one day to the next and higher levels of nanny envy just after your return to work or just after the weekend are normal too. How you feel towards the relationship your nanny has with your child probably also varies according to how you feel about your job. When you have a bad day or you don\u2019t go into work staying at home seems the more attractive option and jealousy towards to person who gets to do that can creep in.<\/p>\n

A bit of jealousy definitely isn\u2019t a reason to reconsider your childcare choice. There are huge benefits to having a nanny, and one of those is in fact the strong bond that your child will form with her carer. If your child wants her nanny when nanny isn\u2019t around try to see it as a positive sign of attachment. Your nanny will probably tell you that your child periodically requests you when you\u2019re at work too. Children are well known for wanting what they don\u2019t have after\u00a0 all.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s also well known among nannies and experienced employers that children will behave very differently for different people so if your little princeling eat his greens and naps in his cot for his nanny but refuses to eat anything except\u00a0 pasta and requires cuddles lying across you when you\u2019re around you aren\u2019t doing anything wrong. Part of it is down to experience on the nanny\u2019s part and part of it is your child feeling safe and secure enough to test the boundaries and express his affection, in some cases by literally smothering you.<\/p>\n

So how canyou combat these feelings?<\/p>\n

Try to\u00a0 disentangle your feelings towards your work life and your feelings about your nanny. If you resent going to work rather than leaving your children, which are very different things, maybe it\u2019s time to reassess your job.<\/p>\n

If you feel your nanny is handling your child\u2019s behaviour better than you ask them for some hints and tips. Most nannies are very happy to work with parents to create new strategies for dealing with behaviour as it makes their job easier too in the long run.<\/p>\n

Make an effort to see your friends or parents from school socially on a regular basis so you don\u2019t feel like your nanny has replaced you. Also encourage your nanny to create their own social circle if they don\u2019t already have one. It can be nice for your child to keep in touch with other children from your NCT group or equivalent but there\u2019s no reason that it has to be your nanny who goes to the meet-ups. If the other parents typically meet during the week suggest that you organise something at the weekend, and nothing is stopping you from going out for a meal or a drink without the\u00a0children in the evening.<\/p>\n

Be open with your nanny about it. They may be inadvertantly making the situation worse so tell them how you feel to avoid them treading on your toes. A good nanny will be sensitive to your feelings and mindful of the fact that you are the parent and nothing can replace that.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Im worried she likes her nanny better than me슠 They behave so perfectly for their nanny and are monsters when Im around! My nanny sees my friends more often than I do. If youve ever felt this then youre not alone. Youre suffering from nanny envy and its actually surprisingly normal, even natural, to feel … Continue reading “Nanny envy”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[19],"tags":[111,306,373],"class_list":["post-1052","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-parents","tag-communication","tag-nanny-employer-relationship","tag-parent"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nannyjob.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1052","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nannyjob.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nannyjob.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nannyjob.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nannyjob.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1052"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.nannyjob.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1052\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nannyjob.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1052"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nannyjob.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1052"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nannyjob.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1052"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}