tips – Nannyjob blog

Double Trouble – How To Cope With Twins And Multiples

Having one baby is hard work, we all know that. The thing is, unless you have a multiple birth (or children very close in age) you don’t realise just how tiring and relentless (although extremely rewarding!) looking after two or more tiny tots can be.

So, as always, we have a wealth of top tips to help if you have your own, or nanny for, twins or triplets:

Routine is king. This, of course, applies in theory to all babies. You’ll find it is much more necessary with twins. Make sure you put the babies down to sleep at the same time, and try to feed them at the same time (or one straight after the other). Even of one cries for food whilst the other is sleeping, in the first couple of months it can really help to wake the other one to feed as well.

Togetherness. If possible, keep your babies together, whether this is in the same cot or just in the same room. Twin babies are almost always comforted by knowing the other one is nearby, and having physical contact with each other. They’ve had nine months of sharing everything, so it would be a massive adjustment for them to then spend a lot of time, or sleep, without the other.

Support system. It’s important to get as much help as you can as a parent of twins. If your partner has returned to work and you find yourself alone and incredibly stressed, pull in your support network. Ask relatives and friends or regular baby-sitters to provide relief, if you haven’ got a nanny. Remember that it will be easier for anyone to help you if you suggest specific tasks, such as feeding or bathing one of the babies, taking them out for a stroll, shopping, cleaning the kitchen, or preparing a meal.

Get some ‘me’ time. It’s important to have a little bit of time each day, if possible, to relax. Even if it’s a 20 minute bath when your partner gets home from work, or half an hour of reading before you go to sleep. It’s a fact that stress and anxiety are more common in parents of twins, so making sure you grab a few golden moments of time for yourself is key.

For more help and information on twins and multiple births visit Twins Trust | Twins Trust – We support twins, triplets and more…

7 steps to be heat safe

With summer definitely peeping around the corner, we have already seen some glorious, hot days but how do you keep cool when it’s so hot? Here are some of our top tips

1. Drink plenty

Hot weather can lead to dehydration really quickly so avoid caffeinated, fizzy or very sugary drinks. Make water more interesting by adding a squeeze of lemon, lime or orange, summery berries, some bruised mint leaves or flavoured ice cubes.

2. Wear sunscreen, shades and hats

Children in particular need protecting from the sun’s rays so apply plenty of sunscreen before going outside, always wear a hat and protect your eyes with sunglasses. If you’re responsible for kitting kids out then find wide-brimmed hats and wrap-around sunglasses they like.

3. Careful in cars

Cool down cars before getting in by opening doors and windows for a few minutes. Before popping children in the car check seat covers, straps and buckles to make sure they’re not too hot. Never leave a child in the car unattended even for a very short period – they can heat up very quickly.

4. Water-play it safe

Splashing around in swimming and paddling pools is a great way to cool down, and so is water play outside, but remember a child can drown in just a few centimetres of water so keep a close eye on them whenever near water.

5. Keep the sun out the house

Closing blinds and curtains during the day will keep the house cooler. This is especially important for children’s bedrooms which should be kept between 16C and 20C.

6. Don’t be overdressed

Although it’s a good idea to ear wear long-sleeved, loose clothing to protect skin from the sun make sure that babies in particularly aren’t overdressed for the weather. Natural fibres are coolest and choose thin fabrics.

7. Pack picnics carefully

If you’re going out to the day remember that food can spoil very quickly in this heat. Make sure cool bags are kept cool with ice packs that have been well frozen beforehand. Avoid foods containing meat or egg and limit dairy too. If you usually prepare formula in advance and keep it cool, consider using ready made cartons as it’s unlikely the milk will stay below 5C when you’re out and about.

photo credit: Simon Blackley via photopin cc

Separation Anxiety

Separating from their primary carer is a difficult experience for babies, and their parents too! In this post we look at some of the causes of separation anxiety and strategies to help.

What is separation anxiety?

Most people equate separation anxiety with crying and clinginess to a familiar adult. Separation anxiety is a natural stage that most children experience for the first time between 7 and 12 months. It’s a perfectly normal reaction to being parted from their primary carer. Unfortunately it also often coincides with a child entering childcare for the first time as a parent goes back to work. By the time a child is 2 years old, separation anxiety should have calmed down, although they may still be anxious or nervous about staying with an unfamiliar adult or in an unfamiliar place the first time it happens. Children (and adults) continue to experience some symptoms of separation anxiety even when they can rationalise what it happening. This can often be seen in parents leaving their child for the first time!

What causes separation anxiety?

Separation anxiety occurs when babies realise that things and people exist even when they can’t be seen. Babies realise that they are alone and feel that there should be someone there, so may cry in the night if they wake and find themselves alone or cry if you leave the room, or they feel anxious when a familiar adult leaves, even if there is someone to look after them.

What can help?

This depends on what is causing the anxiety and the extent you’re prepared to compromise what you do.

If a baby experiences separation anxiety every time you leave the room one option is to take them with you. At some stage they will outgrow their anxiety but this isn’t always practical.

Another strategy is to practice, first by playing peekaboo or hide and seek and then leaving the room and popping back in frequently. Say that you’re going and you’ll be back soon, and don’t worry if you can only manage 10 seconds at first. The most important thing is that you leave and come back.

Children will often experience less separation anxiety if left with another familiar adult so try to balance time spent with Mummy where Daddy leaves and time spent with Daddy and Mummy leaves. A child will feel more secure about the absence of one parent because the other parent is still there. Having other familiar adults – extended family, neighbours or friends – who will stay while you leave, even if it’s just to make a cup of tea, will acclimatise them to being without you without being alone.

At night or nap time do comfort a child but keep visits short and try to avoid lots of interaction. Their separation anxiety is real and distressing for them and they need to know that you are there. If they are unable to fall asleep because they are so distressed try the gradual retreat method where you put them in their cot and sit beside them, gradually moving further and further away until you are out the door. It may take a while and you need to be consistent but it is a gentle way to help them overcome their fear.

Separation anxiety and childcare – some advice for parents.

Children who have only ever been in the care of their parents naturally experience separation anxiety when they enter childcare or school.Children who are used to being around a wide range of familiar adults, for example extended family, are less likely to protest when Mummy or Daddy leaves although they are still likely to experience some separation anxiety. The transition just feels easier because they are accustomed to you leaving and coming back and you are used to leaving them.

It’s important to have a settling in period with a childminder or nursery, or a handover with a new nanny. Build up to a short day by first leaving for short periods, then half days and eventually a full day.

Make sure you always say good-bye when you go, and childcarers should always say good-bye at the end of the day too. Once you have left resist the temptation to pop back and see how they’re doing and then leaving again – this is confusing for children.

Always be positive about your chosen childcare. If your child senses that you are nervous or unsure they will pick up on this and feel unsettled too.