How to lose your nanny in 10 days

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1. Don’t sort the paperwork

Ideally you should have a contract in place before your nanny starts, but if you don’t then make signing one a top priority. Aside from being a legal obligation on your part, it’s a good idea to have the arrangement clarified in writing. You’ll also need her bank details and her National Insurance number, as well as her P45 from her previous job, to pay her correctly.

 

2. Don’t say thank you

It’s nice to say thank you to your nanny at the end of every day, but it’s absolutely vital if she goes out of her way to do something, whether you’ve asked her to or not. You might be paying her but a little gratitude goes a long way.

 

3. Go back on your word

The relationship between a nanny and employer is based on mutual trust and respect. You trust her to care for your children and she trusts you to keep your end of the bargain. If you agree to something, be it going to a specific playgroup or that she can leave half an hour early one day, don’t suddenly turn around and say you’ve changed your mind and it’s no longer possible.

 

4. Tell her she can’t sit on your chair

It’s understandable that even though you’ve let someone into your home you’ll still want to keep a bit of privacy, but do remember that it’s your nanny’s place of work where she will spend a great deal of time, and it’s vital that she feel comfortable. Dictating where she can and can’t sit is petty, and slights like that won’t make for an easy working relationship.

 

5. Be late without notice

Emergencies happen, that’s one of the reason why a nanny is such a great form of childcare, but it absolutely doesn’t excuse lateness with no warning. If your nanny finishes at 6, you haven’t left the office at 5.30 and you know it takes you 45 minutes to get home, you’re already late. Take a moment out of whatever you’re dealing with to call your nanny and apologise. Remember she may have plans for the evening too so she may not be thrilled with the news.

 

6. Don’t top up the kitty or reimburse her for expenses

If you ask your nanny to pick up essentials, such as nappies or bread, or expect her to take your children to activities then it’s expected that you pay for it. It’s courteous to provide a kitty for your nanny so she doesn’t have to fund day to day expenditure out of her own pocket, but if this is the arrangement you have make sure you pay her back promptly.

 

7. Leave a critical note, but don’t suggest improvements

Nannies don’t have mind-reading superpowers (for people over the age of 3, that is) so any time you need to tell your nanny you’d rather she did something a different way, tell her how you’d like it done. Also make sure you give any constructive criticism face to face – it can be really demoralising when someone is nice to your face and then an hour later you discover they weren’t happy at all.

 

8. Ask her to clean your bathroom

Most nannies will happily take care of nursery duties – that is chores related directly to the children such as cleaning up after meals, doing their laundry and hovering their bedrooms and playroom. Although some nannies will be happy to take on additional housekeeping duties, cleaning your bathroom is a step too far. Remember the top priority for a nanny is always the children.

 

9. Take a day off to follow her around

You probably don’t work too well with your boss breathing down your neck and your nanny is no exception. It’s difficult to interact naturally with children, sing, dance and be silly, if you know someone else is judging your every move. Added to that, children always behave differently when their parents are around, so any judgements you make are likely to be based on unsound evidence.

 

10. Don’t pay her

As much as your nanny probably loves her job, as a professional she does expect to be paid. Non-payment is a breach of contract, and your nanny would be perfectly justified in leaving immediately.

Measles

What is measles

Measles is a viral disease which used to be very common in childhood. It is highly contagious, particularly among children. There have been recent outbreaks in Wales, spreading into Gloucestershire, and in Yorkshire.

What are the symptoms

The first symptoms of measles are similar to a cold – runny nose, sneezing, red and watery eyes. It may be accompanied by a dry cough. A child may also be sensitive to light, have a temperature, be generally tired, irritable and achey, and have little appetite.

Measles has a red/brown spotty rash which often starts behind the ears and spreads over the head, body and legs. You can find a picture of it on the NHS slideshow. This rash in conjunction with a very high temperature (over 100F°) and small greyish spots inside the mouth are key indicators for measles.

Why is it serious

Measles can cause other complications, such as vomiting and diahorrhea, conjunctivitis, laryngitis, ear infections and febrile seizures.

Less common, but more serious complications include pneumonia, bronchitis, croup, encephalitis (inflammation of the brain), meningitis and hepatitis. Rare but very serious complications are infection of the optic nerve, which causes blindness, heart and lung problems, and a rare brain complication, which is fatal.

How can you treat it

There is nothing that can be done to treat measles itself. Any secondary infections may be treated with antibiotics. The best thing to do is to treat the symptoms individually.

  • Keep children hydrated and at a comfortable temperature. Use paediatric paracetemol or ibuprofen to relieve pain and fever.
  • If a child has a cough then humidify the room using a bowl of water. A drink of honey and lemon may help but this shouldn’t be given to babies under 12 months, as honey is not suitable for them.
  • Keep light levels low but closing curtains and using night lights instead of the main lighting in a room.
  • Clean sore and gunky eyes with cotton wool and warm water. Remember to throw away each ball as you use it so you don’t spread infection.

How can you prevent it

The only sure way to prevent measles is by vaccinating against it. This is usually done with the MMR jab which requires 2 injections at least 3 months apart, usually the first given between 12 and 13 months and another between 3 and 5 years old. If you need urgent protection because of an outbreak in your area or because you are travelling abroad an additional dose can be given to children under 12 months. Premature babies may have a special vaccination schedule.

As a nanny it’s important to make sure you are immunised against measles. If you are in any doubt whether you are immune or whether you need to be vaccinated, ask your doctor for a blood test, explaining that you work with young children and potentially pregnant women too.

Meet The Blissful Baby Expert

 

 

This is a guest blog from Lisa Clegg, author of The Blissful Baby Expert. She shares how she came to write her manual for parents.

I grew up the 4th eldest out of 26 grandchildren, surrounded by babies and small children from a young age. I’ve always been particularly interested in small babies and I was always the one who volunteered to take any babies off their parents’ hands at family get togethers and parties!

All I ever wanted to do was get a job working with children and after leaving school I went straight to college to do what was then called the NNEB-equivalent to an NVQ level 3 in childcare.

After completing the 2-year course I went straight into my 1st nanny position where I had sole charge of 3 children. I continued in nannying up until I had my 1st baby  – Jack – in October 2002.

After my 2nd son was born in 2006, I began doing some maternity night nanny contracts. I discovered night nannying by accident really browsing though the nannyjob website which I enjoyed doing on a regular basis. Like many people I knew that some mothers employ someone to come and live in and help them after the birth of their baby, a Maternity Nurse.  However, I didn’t realise that a mother could employ someone to  JUST do the nights-allowing her the crucial part of the day covered so that she could get some sleep! Having just gone through the sleepless nights myself with my 2nd baby I knew first hand how torturous it can be when feel like you will never get a full night’s sleep again! A good night’s sleep means you feel like you can cope with anything during the day!

I absolutely loved night nannying as it gave me access to the age group I loved working with the most – those tiny newborns – and I knew exactly how the mothers I worked for would be feeling. I LOVE my job and get so much satisfaction from starting work with a new family, who are usually in chaos with neither parent knowing quite where to start! It’s fantastic to leave them confident about caring for their baby, with a happy baby who eats and sleeps well.

By using a routine as a basis and gently steering babies in the right direction from day 1,  I have left happy parents at the end of each contract whose babies typically drop their night feed between 8-10 weeks, settle well during sleep times and are in general very relaxed happy babies from day to day.

It has worked for many mums and babies and it was all of them that inspired me to write my book THE BLISSFUL BABY EXPERT. I wanted to reach out to so many more parents who are desperate for answers to basic questions and who just need someone to point them in the right direction of keeping life with a new-born baby on an even keel. My book gives mums that starting block and as a mother of 3 children myself I understand first hand how difficult life with a new-born can be when you are not sure where to begin!

This guide has information on essential and non-essential items and equipment to buy for your baby, what to expect when going into hospital, coming home and the first few days and weeks, feeding, sleep, weaning, common problems and illnesses for mum and baby and even developmental milestones.

It has been tested by many parents with young babies and they all agree that there is nothing on the market that is as honest, informative and parent friendly. All reviews so far have been fantastic. As a mother, I can empathise with  all these parents and have been through many of the same scenarios. This is not something that a lot of authors who have written parenting books can say, as many of them have never had their own children and experienced the challenges that motherhood brings!

I hope that my book will continue to help many more mums in the future.

 

THE BLISSFUL BABY EXPERT can be purchased from Amazon in ebook form, which can be downloaded to an Ipad or Iphone as well as many other devices once the kindle App has been installed,  or paperbacks can be ordered through the website www.theblissfulbabyexpert.co.uk

 

 

 

How to talk to children about upsetting events

After the horrendous bombings at the Boston marathon, you may be asked questions by the children you care for. It’s understandable that they will want to make sense of the upsetting events around them, the images they see on the TV for the front pages of newspapers and perhaps the seemingly inexplicable sadness of adults around them. These questions do deserve answers, because they are a sign of a child’s worry which can easily multiply out of control but it’s best to talk to the children’s parents first about how they want their child’s questions handled.

At times such as these it’s especially important to maintain a routine and sense of normality. This provides children with the safety and security that they need. Getting out and about will allow children to see that their own neighbourhood is carrying on with daily life. This is an important step in separating which is shown on TV from their reality.

How much you tell a child will depend on their age and their personality. Younger children don’t yet have the capacity to separate what is away and close to them from fictional portrayals or events further away. They may become very scared and overwhelmed by their fears. At this age it’s important to reiterate that they are safe and this is something which happened far away. Focus on the positive role carried out by the emergency services and do acknowledge the sadness that injury and death brings but don’t dwell on it.

Older children still need to be reassured that they are safe but they are more likely to ask quoins owns about why it happened and whether it will happen to them. Questions of this nature are difficult to answer appropriately and it’s best to keep responses as simple as possible. Do be careful if children propose extreme solutions, either influenced by films or video games or repeating something they have heard an adult say. It’s important to encourage them to trust in the justice system and not assign blame, even if we ourselves are railing at the perpetrators. Children often have a strong innate sense of justice and want to know that the people responsible will in some way be punished but that can be disproportionate.

Although presenting a calm exterior and brave face to children is important, nannies must not just block out events around them. It is both permissible and appropriate to express shock and disbelief, or to want to seek reassurance. Alone all day without adult company it can be easy for things to prey on your mind. Talk to others – a mentor, a trusted nanny friend or an online community – who understand the pressures and may be able to share coping strategies or provide ideas for answering difficult questions, which may continue to surface in the days and weeks to come.

Safer baby sleep

This is a guest posting from The Lullaby Trust. The Lullaby Trust, formerly FSID, promotes expert advice on safer baby sleep and provides specialist support for bereaved families.

Working with a baby or toddler can be an exciting and rewarding experience. However, we know how worrying it can be making the best decisions to keep babies and toddlers as safe as possible.

Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) is the sudden and unexplained death of a baby where no cause is found. While SIDS is rare, it can still happen and our advice below will ensure that the baby or toddler in your care is sleeping as safely as can be both a night and during the day.

Things you can do when working with a baby:

Always place the baby on their back to sleep

• You should always place the baby on their back to sleep and not on their front or side

• Make sure you and the family you work with are consistent with back sleeping- the chance of SIDS is particularly high for babies who are sometimes placed on their front or side

• Once the baby can roll from back to front and back again, on their own, they can be left to find their own position

Keep the baby smoke free

• Never smoke around the baby or have the baby on contact with smoky skin or clothing.

• Don’t let people smoke near the baby and keep the house, car, and other places the baby spends time, smoke free

Opt for expressed breast milk over formula

• If you have the option, always prioritise breast milk over formula, as this can be protective against the risk of SIDS

Place the baby to sleep in a cot or Moses basket in the same room as you for the first 6 months, even during the day. It’s the safest place.

• The chance of SIDS is lower when babies sleep in the same room as their parents or carers, but do not share the same bed as them

Ensure the baby has a firm, flat, waterproof mattress in a good condition

• You and the baby’s family should avoid using soft or bulky bedding (such as quilts, pillows and duvets) as these increase the chance of SIDS

• Sleep the baby on a firm, flat mattress that is clean and in a good condition. A mattress with a waterproof cover will help you keep it clean and dry

 

Things to avoid when working with a baby:

Never sleep on a sofa or in an armchair with the baby either next to you or on your chest, even during the day

• Sofa sharing with a baby greatly increases the chance of SIDS

Avoid letting the baby get too hot or too cold

• A room temperature of 16-20⁰C, with light bedding or a lightweight well-fitting sleeping bag, is comfortable and safe for sleeping babies

• Check the baby regularly to see if he or she is too hot. Look for sweating or feel the baby’s tummy – their hands and feet will usually be cooler, that’s normal. If the baby is hot, remove one or more layers of bedclothes.

Don’t cover the baby’s face or head while sleeping or use loose bedding

• The use of loose bedding which can cover the baby’s face or head can be dangerous and can increase the chance of SIDS

• To keep the baby safe and their head uncovered while they are sleeping you should:

o Place your baby on their back in the ‘feet to foot’ position – this is where the baby’s feet are placed at the foot of the cot – so they can’t wriggle down under the blankets

o Use blankets which are firmly tucked in, no higher than the baby’s shoulders or baby sleeping bag

For more information and advice, see the Lullaby Trust’s website at www.lullabytrust.org.uk, or phone the information and advice line on 0808 802 6869.

Happy nannying!

Continued life and Thymes

Kuvona | www.dreamstime.com
Like many other families who employ a nanny, we use a nanny/parent diary to communicate with each other and write down important messages. This is recommended by practically every book, website, parent at playgroup and nanny at interview. Of course it takes a bit of trial and error to get right….

When we started I obsessively wrote down everything, and I mean everything – nappies, precise waking times, feed timings to the last millisecond. Ellie, to be fair, played along and I have an excruciatingly thorough account of the first six weeks. Sin #1, overinformation.

Then I got lazy and days went by (possibly up to s week) when I didn’t even read the thing let alone write something down. When I did it was a quick note, mostly critical, and this is where we came to our first cropper. Sin #2, underuse.

One Sunday, slightly exasperated that Ol seemed to have no clothes, I flipped to Monday and scrawled “please make sure you do a wash on Friday so we have enough clothes for the weekend”. Monday evening I came home and, remembering that I’d left something in the diary, checked to see the reply.

“Wash was done Thursday. Please see April 9 re: sorted clothes and April 11 re: suggested purchases.”

Oh.

Now had I actually talked rather than relying on just writing I might have discovered that Ellie, in a bout of efficiency had sorted through Ol’s clothes and he only had about 5 outfits which fitted (hence the follow up note on the Friday), and of course because it was in the diary it was assumed that the message had been read and understood. Wrong. To compound this, instead of politely asking Ellie to do the laundry (whereupon I would have discovered that she actually did), I wrote a snippy note in a fit of pique. Sin #3, relying on the diary and sin #4, writing something in a way you’d never say it.

Things jogged along nicely for a while, but then I committed sin #5 (diarising something before it was confirmed). I put something in the diary 3 weeks in advance, because I knew we’d need a babysit, and this happened over a weekend so I didn’t want to text to ask there and then. I had it in the back of my mind to bring it up very quickly Monday, just to say there was something in the diary, but, fairly predictably, I forgot. Luckily I have a very understanding and organised nanny who looks through the month ahead every Monday (which is the only reason Granny got a handcrafted birthday card this year) and who called to ask whether we wanted her to babysit

Far be it from me to tender advice…. but I’ll go you 2 bits anyway.

Use your diary judiciously – not too much, but not so little that you never look at it and miss important info

AND

Never use your diary as a substitute for talking, even if its just to say “did you see the diary?”

How to create a nanny CV personal profile

© Dignity | Dreamstime Stock Photos & Stock Free Images

Many people nowadays suggest that you add a personal profile to the top of your CV and nanny jobs are no different. Summing up your interests and experience in 3 or 4 lines, while daunting, allows you to showcase your strengths to parents from the very start. But what to include?

 

Your qualifications

You spent time gaining your qualifications so don’t hesitate to use the word trained and mention the awarding body. NNEB, CACHE and Montessori qualifications are all highly sought after. You don’t need to go into details of your course – there will be space for you to do that later on your CV.

 

Your experience

The word experienced will tick another box for many parents, simple as it may sound. You might want to specify what type of experience you have – nanny, nursery, teaching, childminding – or how much experience you have. Here is a great place to sum up whether you have experience as a maternity or night nanny, with multiples or as part of a nanny shar but again finer details should feature further down your CV.

 

Your approach

Are you firm with the children?A believer in routines? Are you spontaneous? Focused on education? Are you tidy? Calm? Active? Energetic? You should consider what you’re really like on a day to day basis and what your natural reaction to children is. Try to find adjectives which will really resonate with parents but be honest about what you’re really like.

(Just a little aside – flexible might be interpreted as willing to stay late or willing to do extra housework so consider how flexible you really are before you say the F-word!)

 

Your skills

Are you an amazing cook? Great at time management? Fluent in another language? A talented artist? A dab hand with a sewing machine? A black belt in karate? Anything with a wow factor should definitely appear in your personal profile.

 

Your wishlist

What kind of nanny job are you seeking? Live in or live out? Full or part time? Do you want the relationship to be friendly but entirely professional? Do you want to become part of the family? Are you looking for a hectic but stimulating position with a busy family or would you prefer something more laid back? You personal profile is your only brief chance to mention your requirements on your CV!

 

Finally, get a friend or past employer to read it over for you. Sometimes other people can be a better judge of what we write than we can ourselves and they may have ideas that haven’t crossed your mind.