How to Choose Independent Midwives for a Home Birth

Independent midwives are becoming a popular choice among pregnant families.  Many mothers feel safest in the hands of midwives who do not have to deal with the problems of understaffing in NHS hospitals, and prefer the more personal approach.

 

Independent midwives are generally most popular amongst women who want as natural a birth as possible.  Childbirth is seen as an important rite of passage by many women, so it’s understandable that they wish to hire midwives whose ideals mesh with their own.

 

So, how do you go about choosing your midwives? Here are some of the things you would want to consider.

 

What are their perinatal mortality and morbidity rates?

Perinatal mortality and morbidity are the statistics that you should be concerned with when choosing your midwives.  The terms cover death or serious injury in late term pregnancy, during birth and the immediate postpartum period.  Of course, some deaths cannot be avoided, but you will want to know whether their statistics are within normal ranges.

 

What is their transfer rate?

Many people who are hoping for a home birth will look for the midwives with the lowest transfer rate.  A low transfer rate is good for those who are seeking a natural home birth, but you should also look at this number in conjunction with their perinatal mortality rates.  A low transfer rate coupled with a higher than average perinatal mortality rate is a sign that you should run for the hills.

 

What are their feelings towards natural birth?

If it is important to you to have a natural birth – and if you’re seeking a home birth, that’s most probably the case – you will want to be in the hands of midwives who believe in natural birth as much as you do.  Finding a balance is hard sometimes as midwives are medical professionals first and foremost – their primary concern is your health, and the health of your baby.  You cannot expect professional midwives to agree to attend a home birth if the risk of danger to you or the baby is too high.  Of course, your eligibility for home birth will depend on many factors such as any previous pregnancy complications, your distance from the hospital and how many children you have had.  Again, balance is the key.  Try to find midwives who are passionate about, and trust in natural birth and its benefits, without being too dismissive of the fact that sometimes complications occur despite all our hard work in preparing.

 

What happens if you need to transfer?

You will need to know what happens if you end up having to transfer to hospital.  Will your midwives accompany you?  And in what capacity will they accompany you?  Usually, they will accompany you in the capacity of a doula (a labour and post-partum support person) but you will need to check this before the birth.

 

What happens if your midwives aren’t available?

Babies rarely come when they are expected to, and sometimes emergencies will crop up that mean your midwives won’t be available to attend your birth.  Make sure that they have a contingency plan.  Usually there will be many midwives within a private practice, but make sure that there will always be somebody available to come to you.

Self-Care for a Support Worker

Being a support worker can be a wonderfully rewarding career.  However, like other positions that are involved in supporting and caring for vulnerable families, it can be incredibly emotionally draining, too.

It takes a special kind of person to be a support worker, for sure – but even if you are that special type, you still may find yourself feeling drained and emotionally battered after dealing with particularly tough cases.

Self-care is incredibly important for anybody working in such an environment.  Following are a list of ideas that you might want to employ to help you cope with the emotional stresses and strains of being a support worker.

 

Put on your cape

It may sound silly to some, but visualisation techniques can be very useful for helping us to deal with difficult situations, especially emotionally charged ones.  You might wish to try the cape visualisation when going to, and leaving, work.

 

As you approach your workplace, close your eyes and take a few deep breaths in order to centre yourself.  Imagine yourself putting on a thick, bright white cape – this will be your emotional protection throughout the day. Then, when you leave, centre yourself again and imagine taking the cape off.  It sounds very simplistic but it’s a very effective way to help you leave your work at the workplace.

 

Talk

If you’re finding it very hard to deal with the emotions that a particular case is stirring up in you, make sure you talk to somebody about it.  Keeping strong feelings such as these inside is not healthy.  If you are struggling a lot with a particular case, try to talk to one of your superiors about perhaps getting some support yourself.  You may find that a past trauma of your own has been triggered by a negative situation in the family you’re supporting.  Seeking help before it gets on top of you is far more desirable than waiting for it to swallow you up.

 

Take time out for you

We all have busy lives, but we all deserve to take time out to care for ourselves.  Those of us who work in emotionally charged careers such as that of a support worker may find themselves emotionally exhausted as well as physically after a long, hard week.  Be sure to set aside at least a couple of hours at the weekend to do something that makes you really happy – making art, meeting friends for coffee, or just lounging in the bath with a glass of something delicious are all great ways to unwind.  Be sure to surround yourself with positive energy when you are outside of work – swear off the 10 o’clock news if needs be!

 

Remember the successes

The majority of cases that a support worker will deal with will have what could be called a “happy ending”, and the rewarding nature of the job is usually enough to help support workers cope with the more negative times.  However, if youre dealing with a particularly tough situation, it may be useful to remind yourself of all the good you have done so far, and the good you are doing right now – even if the fruits of your labour are not immediate.  Knowing that you are making a positive difference to a family is a very good feeling indeed.

Au Pair Etiquette

An au pair is different from other childcare providers, and as such they should be treated so.  In this article we will go over some of the rules and etiquette you should keep in mind if you choose to utilise the services of an au pair.

 

The au pair is part of your family

She is living in your home and you are paying her a wage, so you are her employer. However, the au pair should be viewed as part of your family rather than a separate employee.  Au pairs are not paid especially well, and part of their payment is the chance to be integrated into family life and the opportunity to be exposed to the English life and language.  Involve them in family life and treat them as a member of your own family.  Don’t bark orders at her, or shout at her if you are upset with something she has done – sit down with her and discuss any issues you’re having instead just as you would any other person. Au pairs are just as deserving of respect as anyone else.

 

The au pair is not your skivvy

As previously mentioned, au pairs are only paid a pocket money wage on top of their board, and as such they should not have unreasonable demands made upon them.  The responsibilities of your au pair should be clearly laid out at the start so she knows what is expected of her, and you should respect the boundaries that you have both laid in place – for example, if she has the weekends off, she should not be expected to watch the children or help around the house.  She may offer if she sees you need help, but it should never be requested.  Additionally, be sure not to treat her like a ‘cinderella’ – only light housework duties and childcare for children over the age of two should be expected, and again, these responsibilities should be clearly laid out and agreed upon.  If you find extra duties come up, discuss them with her and see if she would be happy to take them on in return for a pay rise.

 

The au pair has other responsibilities

Au pairs are primarily in the country to learn about the culture and the language.  The au pair will be attending some kind of language school and will need time to study alone.  Au pairs can legally work up to 35 hours a week, unless they are from Romania or Bulgaria in which case they may only be on duty for 25 hours each week.  They must have two days off each week, and at least one full weekend off every month.

 

Respect is a two-way street

It is not unreasonable to expect a good work ethic and a cheerful disposition from your au pair.  If you treat her with the respect she deserves, she will likely be very happy in your home and happy to carry out her duties.  Remember, clear communication at all times is key.  This can be difficult if the au pair only has a limited understanding of English, but it’s possible – and it will become easier as time goes on, and the au pair becomes more fluent.