Every nanny’s dream is finding a family to work for, long term, that they click with. The reality is that sometimes, even when a nanny has found that family, disagreements will still occur. This is to be expected, and is usually nothing to worry about.
In much the same way as your personal relationships, disagreements and issues within working relationships needn’t spell the end of the relationship. Most of the time they can be dealt with easily and with the minimum of drama.
Dealing with these disagreements in the right way is vital to maintaining a healthy working relationship with the family. Following are some tips to help you deal with them, or avoid them altogether.
Make sure you have a contract
An in-depth nanny contract is the most effective way to prevent disagreements and issues occurring. Although verbal contracts are legally binding, they are open to interpretation so it is important that your agreement is put down in writing and signed by all parties. Insist that a contract is drawn up and signed as soon as possible after starting work, preferably before you start – and definitely by a month or two after your start date. Be sure to keep your copy safe.
Check your contract
If you find yourself disagreeing with the parents over something like holiday or house rules, check the contract over. It is easy to forget small points, especially things that may not have stuck out in your mind when the contract was drawn up. The disagreement could be down to a simple misunderstanding on their (or your) behalf.
Be upfront from the beginning
Before you agree to work for a family, be sure to inform them of anything that could affect your ability to work the hours they require, if you have any holidays booked, or anything else that affects your work. If these things are dealt with early on, they shouldn’t cause a problem later on.
Don’t wait for resentment to build
If something has bothered you then you need to be politely honest about it before it becomes a huge issue in your mind. The problem might be something small and easily fixed – for example, the parents unthinkingly allowing the children to wake you up on a Saturday morning when you’re off-duty – or it may just be the product of a misunderstanding. Either way, dealing with issues in a friendly manner, if and when they arise, is far preferable than hoping the problem will go away by itself. That very rarely happens, and you will end up feeling resentful and angry towards the family.
Give plenty of notice
If you need some time off that hasn’t been pre-arranged with the family, make sure you broach the subject with plenty of time to spare. They may not be able to fulfil your request but they have much more chance of doing so if they have enough time to organise alternative childcare, and they will appreciate the effort of giving plenty of notice.
If you are reading this, you may be considering becoming a childminder. But how do you know if it’s the right career choice for you?
Many stay at home parents choose to become childminders so that they can continue to care for their own young children full-time (rather than going back to work), and then continue their childminding career long after their own children have grown up and moved out. Many other people choose childminding as a career even if they haven’t had their own children. Being a childminder can be an incredibly fulfilling and enjoyable career choice, but it’s not for everybody.
This article has been written to give a clearer picture of what life is really like as a childminder, and to help you decide whether you are cut out for the busy and varied lifestyle that being a childminder brings.
What Do Childminders Do All Day?
Well, they certainly don’t sit down watching the children play all day long! Childminders are like stand-in parents, doing all of the things that a mother or father would do should they be home with their children. Childminders focus the majority of their energies and time on playing with the children in their care, and instigating educational and enjoyable activities. Childminders also need to keep their own homes reasonably tidy throughout the day (well, as tidy as is possible with several small children in the house), prepare meals for the children in their care, do school runs and other errands, as well as completing paperwork. So as you can see, there’s not a lot of time left for sitting down!
Could I Be a Childminder?
Before you start thinking seriously about whether being a childminder would work for you, you need to ask yourself these questions:
-Is your home suitable?
Many people believe that in order to be a childminder, your home must be spacious with a large garden. This simply isn’t the case. Lots of childminders have small houses, and houses without gardens. You simply need to be able to demonstrate that any children in your care will have lots of opportunities for exercise and fresh air – so if you have a local park, playing field or other accessible outdoor space, you will be fine. You can even mind children if you don’t own your own home – you just need permission from your landlord first.
-Is there a local demand for childminders?
This may seem like a very obvious question, but it really is one worth thinking about. Good childminders are indeed like gold dust, but some areas have more childminders than others. There is little point in setting up as a childminder in a town where many other childminders are struggling to find work, unless you feel you have something to offer that puts you above the competition.
-Do I have the right personality?
If you genuinely enjoy spending time with children, have a good imagination and sense of fun, and you’re motivated to facilitate learning and exploration of the world, the chances are you would make a great childminder. You don’t need to have had your own children to be a childminder, but childcare experience is invaluable to figuring out whether you would enjoy a career looking after children.
When you’re planning for your baby’s birth, you’ll have lots to think about. One of the main thoughts that will be going through your mind will be the midwives that will attend your birth – after all, along with your birth partner(s), they will be your main companions throughout your labour.
If you decide to plan to give birth to your baby at home, you may be wondering if your care will differ at all to that of mothers giving birth in a hospital environment.
Ultimately, the main job of midwives is to keep you and your baby as safe as possible, but the dynamics between midwives and their patients can be quite different at a home birth than at a hospital birth.
Hospital Birth
Hospital maternity units are run to strict protocols to ensure quality of care for every woman and baby on the unit. Additionally, maternity units are generally very busy places – often, midwives are stretched to their limits. As a result, midwives need to be ‘in charge’ of their unit. The dynamic between midwives and mothers on a maternity unit is usually very much that of professionals and patients, although midwives do their very best to empower women to make their own choices about their births.
If you choose to give birth on a hospital maternity unit, you will be assigned to a midwife when you arrive. They generally won’t be able to stay with you throughout your labour, but will check on you regularly. When it comes to the second stage of labour when your baby is born, you will have two midwives with you, or a midwife and a doctor.
Home Birth
A home birth is usually a much more holistic affair than hospital birth. People who opt for home birth usually do so because they want a more natural experience, or because they want to feel more in charge of their birth. At a home birth, the midwife – mother dynamic is quite different. Midwives acknowledge that they are guests in the mother’s home, and as such, the mother is very much in charge of her own birth. The midwives are there to safeguard the mother and facilitate the safe delivery of the baby.
If you choose to give birth at home, two midwives will attend you. Usually, the first midwife will arrive at your home with the equipment, and then send for the second midwife when the second stage of labour is approaching.
It is important that we point out that the legal requirements of midwives are the same whether you give birth at a hospital or at home – as the patient, your care is centred around you, and wherever you give birth you are legally responsible to make decisions about your care. The only real difference between hospital and home births is how the birth experiences feel to the birthing family.
When you hire a nanny, you become an employer. And as an employer, you will need to provide your nanny with a contract detailing important information about her responsibilities as your employee, and your responsibilities as her employer.
Why Do We Need a Written Contract?
Verbal agreements are legally binding, but they are open to interpretation. Furthermore, providing a written contract shows that you take your responsibilities as her employer seriously, and that is important. Feeling valued is a big part of being a happy nanny – and happy nannies are usually great nannies.
Employment law will protect both of you regardless of whether or not you have a nanny contract in place, but a contract is personal to your own circumstances. Employment law covers the basics.
What Should be Covered in a Nanny Contract?
There are two schools of thought here. Some believe that a nanny contract should be extensive, covering things like duties and house rules (if the nanny is live-in). Others say that the contract should cover the basics, and that the details of day-to-day tasks and responsibilities should be covered in a separate job description document. Either way, your nanny contract should always include the following points:
Your name and the nanny’s name
Place of work
Start date (and end date, if the nanny is filling a temporary position such as maternity leave)
Job title
Weekly working hours
Details of the nanny’s salary – including when and how often she will be paid
Details of the nanny’s holiday entitlement
Details of the nanny’s sick leave entitlement
Details of the nanny’s pension (if there is no pension plan, this should be stated)
Notice period
Probation/trial period (if there is one)
Information on disciplinary procedures
Details of sackable offences.
How Can I Be Sure Our Contract is Legally Satisfactory?
If you use a nanny agency to hire your nanny, they will be able to provide you with a sample contract that you can amend as necessary. If you wish to create your own contract from scratch, it may be a wise idea to seek advice from a professional.
The nanny contract should, ideally, be drawn up and signed by both parties (and the nanny provided with a copy) before the nanny starts work. In any case, the contract should always be dealt with within one or two months of the nanny’s employment start date.
What If We Want to Change the Contract?
If you and your nanny wish to change any terms on your nanny contract, you are free to do so at any time. A new contract should be drawn up and signed by both parties, making the old contract obsolete.
Choosing an au pair can seem like a very daunting task, especially to first-time host families. There is a wealth of information online about the important points to think about when hiring an au pair, which although helpful, can also be rather daunting.
In this article we will attempt to condense this information and make it easier for you to make this important decision.
Talk to Other Host Families
This should be your first port of call when starting the process of looking for a suitable au pair for your family. There is no substitute for hearing the experiences of somebody who has been there. Many host families would have hired several au pairs over the years, and as a result will likely have lots of nuggets of wisdom and tips to share with you.
The easiest (and usually most practical) way to connect with other host families is via the internet. There are many forums online that one can join in order to ask questions and network with other families who have been in the same position as you.
Au Pair Agencies
There are hundreds of au pair agencies advertised and just choosing one can be a daunting task alone. The first point covered – talking to other host families – will be your best bet for finding an au pair agency with a good reputation. Word of mouth is one of the most reliable measures of great service, after all. UK host families can also make use of the au pair agency directory at the British Au Pair Agency Association (BAPAA) to help them choose a reputable agency.
Consider Your Needs
When choosing an au pair, you’ll need to think about what would make the most compatible match for you and your children. Everybody’s needs are different, and au pair agencies can help find a suitable match, but you will need to have a clear idea in mind of what you are looking for. Remember, au pairs are not permitted to have sole charge of children under the age of two, and some might have very limited childcare experience. The level of childcare you require should be take into consideration when ‘vetting’ au pairs for their suitability – for example, the age of your children and how independent they are (ie how much actual ‘care’ will be required, rather than mostly supervision).
Another thing to consider is whether or not the au pair can drive. If the au pair will be required to do school runs and other trips, you will want to ensure that the au pair you choose is able to drive. Remember, it is the responsibility of the host family to make sure the au pair is insured to drive the family car, and to provide the fuel for work-related trips.
Get to Know Them
Emailing, talking on the phone and using Skype are all great ways to spend some time getting to know your prospective au pair before you take the plunge and send them a written offer to consider. Choosing an au pair is a big decision – as is choosing a host family – so get to know each other as much as you can.
If you are new to babysitting jobs, you may be nervous about what to expect when you turn up at the home of a new family. Even if you have had childcare experience before, you could be worried about bonding with the children, trying to carry out the parents’ wishes and keeping the children happy at the same time.
If you’re about to start venturing into the world of babysitting jobs, this article may be able to help you. Following are some of the challenges that babysitters face, and tips on how to deal with them.
Unhappy Children
It’s very possible that the children in your care may become upset when the parents leave, or they may begin to miss them later on. The best way to deal with this is to allow them to express their feelings and empathise with them – telling them that you understand their upset, and that you promise to keep them safe, will go a long way. Resist the urge to distract them out of their upset. Offer activities to do, by all means, but trying to ‘cheer them up’ constantly will only make them feel as though their feelings don’t matter.
Unruly Children
Some children deal with their difficult feelings by behaving in an unruly manner. They might refuse to eat the food their parents have left, insist that their mum said they could stay up late, or refuse point blank to go to bed. Some babysitters can feel that the children are ‘ganging up’ on them, and testing their authority. This may well be the case.
The most important thing to do is to stay calm and light-hearted. If the children see that they are rattling you, their behaviour may well continue. Make sure you are absolutely clear on the rules before the parents leave – for example, what time the children should be in bed, or how much TV they are allowed to watch – so that if they try to tell you otherwise, you won’t be swayed. The parents will much prefer you ask them the same thing three times before they leave than to deal with a call from you at 9pm, asking you to clarify bedtime. Write down the information so you have it to hand.
Emergency Situations
Thankfully, emergency situations are not common situations to have to deal with at babysitting jobs, but you should still be prepared:
Have a list of emergency contact numbers available – the parents mobile numbers, the numbers of the children’s grandparents, and one other contact number of someone close to the children, just in case
Be sure to have enough spare change on you to pay for a taxi should you need to use one in an emergency
Take your mobile phone with you, and make sure you have credit (and a fully charged battery)
Be prepared to use first aid. Attend a paediatric first aid course prior to your first babysitting job if you can – if not, seek first aid tutorial videos from a reputable source online on common problems such as choking and resuscitation, and take a real first aid course as soon as possible.